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“Congratulations!” read the purple-framed screen in front of me on March 26th, 2025. It was the only word I needed to see for my body to go into total shock, my adrenaline pumping and triggering my fight-or-flight response, voiding my mind of any thoughts except for those of utter disbelief.
While my parents serenely congratulated me behind where I was sitting with my laptop at the dinner table, my excitement was enough to make me burst into tears and run upstairs to my bedroom, realizing that I had gotten into New York University, my dream school since eighth grade.
All throughout high school, I had centered my entire academic career — all the advanced and AP classes, time-consuming extracurriculars, community service hours — around one and only mission: to get admitted to NYU. Some could say I had a one-track mind, some could say I was ambitious from a young age, but it is undeniable that I was nothing if not consistent, keeping the thought of my future college self at NYU at the forefront of my mind when I needed motivation for anything regarding school.
Becoming obsessed with one specific institution is a universal experience for high school students all over the globe, and my NYU-studded “college” Pinterest board and I were surely no exception.
So, when I actualized this long-term goal and finally made it happen for myself, I couldn’t have been more ecstatic. As qualified and impressive as my applications were, my insecurities and admissions competition fully made me believe that there wasn’t a shot of me getting in, that I shouldn’t get my hopes up for nothing. Influences like my harsh college counselor and online admission stats I compared myself to, built up a pessimistic mindset that left me with little confidence that I could have gotten into my dream school.
At the height of application season, I even considered applying in an Early Decision round to maximize my chances of getting in. However, financial considerations made me pivot to applying for Regular Decision, which had a significantly lower acceptance rate. This is why getting accepted right off the bat was such a big shock to me.
Things started getting complicated when I got news of another acceptance. Getting rejected from UCLA had made me think there was no chance of getting into UC Berkeley, but I was evidently proven wrong. Even after getting into my so-called dream school, my top three came down to NYU, Berkeley, and, another option I was really interested in, UCSB. All amazing schools that are yet so different from each other. I was completely torn.
The whole month of April, which also ironically happened to be the month I turned 18, I remember to be a series of internal chaos as I drove myself borderline psychotic over my choice, going back and forth between schools. I even posted a TikTok that got around 50k+ views and many opinionated perspectives in the comments, muddling my head even more as I considered every single aspect of each possibility. It would be a great understatement to say I’m an over thinker at heart, so naturally I channeled that exponentially into this decision.
Visiting each of the campuses in person was what changed it all for me. I had toured NYU in December and loved it, but visiting UCSB after I had gotten in made me realize just how different they were to each other. Before I toured Berkeley for the first time on Cal Day, I was sure that it was going to be the school for me.
I’d found a few roommate options, researched the course curricula and freshman dorms, and talked to current students there — I was practically committed. But then I toured the campus, and the comparison of my experience there versus at UCSB was enough to sway my decision.
Long story short, the school that ended up being the best fit for me personally was UCSB. After much consideration, research, and consultation with tons of different sources, I concluded that the cultures at both of my other options weren’t what I was looking for out of a college experience. It wasn’t a one-dimensional decision; there are many factors that went into my decision, from financial to academic to social.
To keep it brief, UCSB really felt like a place that encouraged me to grow both as a student and as an individual. I had spent my whole high school career focused on being a perfect student on paper, that I made it a non-negotiable to “let go a little” in college. I kept hearing from so many people about how UCSB had such an overall happy student body and quality of life, and I was genuinely excited about the thought of attending, while picturing myself at the other options gave me a sense of anxiety about not fitting in.
A day before the official college commitment day, I finally committed to UCSB. Although I knew I was making the right choice deep down, I couldn’t help but feel anxious and on edge for the entire summer, worried that I had somehow messed up, especially given the criticism some people in my life gave me over my decision. I decided that what’s done was done and it wasn’t worth stressing over; I’d need to give it a real chance before having any regrets.
Then I came here, and everything fell into place. Not instantly — of course, I still struggled with freshman year canon events and being away from home for the first time as everyone does—but gradually, I found my place as a Gaucho. I met amazing people and came out of my shell of being known as “quiet,” gained access to awesome opportunities, took classes that genuinely interested me, went to so many cool places, and embraced the magic of Isla Vista.
Though it was full of ups and downs, I overall had a fantastic freshman year that led me to grow so much and learn about myself as a person. Looking back at this moment in my life a little over a year ago, I am filled with bittersweet nostalgia as I’m nearing the end of my freshman year but also with a warm rush of gratitude as I thank my past self for going with my heart and taking the risk.
Getting into my “dream school” made me realize that my idealized version of that reality was fleeting. I would never have expected to grow out of that dream, but now I just couldn’t picture myself living in New York at this time in my life. Other than New York being my favorite city and the opportunities that came along with my desired program, my ultimate motive for attending NYU was being far away from home.
As much as I love my hometown in LA, I had always wanted to go out of state for college because it would have allowed me to embrace my independence. It hadn’t dawned on me until I came to UCSB that being on your own comes with any college experience, no matter how far from home. It’s cliché, but it really is what you make of it.
Do I still think about what could have been, had I made another choice? Of course. But it’s inevitable, for everyone, to wonder from time to time about the opportunity cost of an alternative choice — even if they claim to be content with their decision. I know I would have been okay with any direction I had taken, but now knowing what my life is like as a UCSB student, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.