Food is a complex subject. On one hand, it has all the power to make us feel good, to befriend our tastebuds and fuel us throughout the day, but on the other, it can play with our minds and make us change the way we see ourselves.
When I was a competitive athlete, I experienced the latter a lot. Around my team, it was normal to eat a big amount after a two-hour morning swim practice and to supplement all the calories we burn with regular meals and snacks throughout the day. But I found that to not be the case when I transitioned to the non-athlete world. I found my plates were often fuller than those of my friends or tended to have less salad on them and a slice of pizza instead.
Even though they weren’t saying anything to me, I couldn’t help but feel like their plates were judging me. I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong—that as long as I was fueling my body and making good choices most of the time, it didn’t hurt anyone if I ate something just because I wanted to once in a while. But I felt this sort of pressure at the table to take one less slice, even though I knew I would’ve taken it if I was eating at home. It was external pressure, a “table pressure” if you will, but it felt like only I could see it.
But after experiencing the pressure regularly and all the effects that come with it, I am here to say, it actually is okay. It is not worth it to give in to an imaginary force of supposed social norms. It’s okay to be snacking on Goldfish while someone else snacks on keto cereal, and it’s okay to get a spicy Chick-fil-A sandwich when someone else gets a wrap or salad. And why you may feel judged, the only relationship that matters is the one you have with your body, nothing else.
Because if you think about it, what are you actually being judged for? Are you supposedly being looked down upon because a certain food might just make you smile a little extra that day? Are you being looked down upon because there’s a little imbalance on your plate? These slight differences cannot be given the power to affect your self-worth.
And if you want to change your eating habits, I’m not discouraging you from doing so. What I am saying is that the change should come from within, not because of “table pressure,” which could lead you down a path of unhealthy eating habits if you’re not doing it for yourself. Once you start changing yourself solely to conform to others, it becomes incredibly difficult to be satisfied.
So the next time you find yourself comparing your plate to the person sitting next to you, just know that no one else is thinking what you are right now. It’s all in your head, and soon, it will be in your stomach, energizing you to be the girl boss you are throughout the day.