I tried the “It Girl” routine: early morning journaling, mind-body workout classes and no-makeup makeup looks. It was fun for about three days and then it began to feel like an unpaid, full-time job. From an outside perspective, I looked productive and happy. But on the inside, I felt exhausted and dreadful of the next time I’d have to cut lemon for my post workout water.
My wellness routine became more work than pleasure. The energy I would store while sleeping began to wear off instantly since I didn’t have a minute of peace. It was no longer fun to gua sha my face or perfect a gym slick back. I would become disappointed in myself when I would check my bedside journal at the end of the day to see many of my unrealistic goals had yet to be checked off. I created a false narrative in my head that being an “It Girl” has to be hard or else I am not doing it right. I strived to create the perfect routine to check off all of the boxes but instead was left burnt out. Everything I knew about physical wellness was actually making me mentally unwell.
I wondered why I spent so much time crafting a regimen that did not actually serve me. Then I realized the routine I thought I was curating was actually not mine at all – it belonged to the “It Girls” of social media. I had to learn to separate aesthetic wellness from real wellness. I did not need to have fruit in my water; I just needed to drink a glass. My makeup brushes could use a cleaning, but I don’t need to buy the double rinse ultra clean strawberry scented cleaning machine for it. Wellness does not need twenty extra steps to take care of yourself; it can be simple. Instead of thinking to myself, “Am I lazy for not wanting to do this?”, I have shifted my mindset to, “How can I implement parts of what they are doing into my routine?” and question if I really needed to add the step I saw on social media. Self-care does not need to be aesthetic for it to work.
Every day I work to reclaim my routine and find ways that I will feel my best. I have learned being an “It Girl” does not have to be achieved the same way I see my friends do it. Over the past few months, I have worked to create a routine that makes me excited to get out of bed. Instead of journaling, I discovered I thrive when creating task sheets each morning and have a goal to check off at least one thing every day. To feel my best, I have implemented the ⅔ rule where I try to leave my dorm with two of the three beauty routines done (hair, makeup, or outfit). Making a routine that applies more to my personal style of self-care has lifted a weight from my eyelids and helped me to feel happier.
As I continue to work out the tweaks in my personal routine, it has shifted my perspective on who I find an “It Girl” these days. Beauty gurus online are not full-time college students with jobs and social lives to address and therefore they may not be the best guides for how to live my day-to-day life. My new role models are the ones who I see on campus and feel inspired. I notice the girl in class who wore a classy outfit, the one who is smiling at her notes page filled with bright highlighter marks, and the person who told me “Good morning!” on my walk to class. These ladies are my “It Girls” because I can tell by how they carry themselves they are living for themselves not the 8-step skincare routine. PSA: You don’t have to be an it girl to be your girl.