The things that make us the happiest are oftentimes the hardest or scariest things. That’s why we run from happiness. Not because we don’t want it, but because we’re afraid of what comes with it.
Do you ever think back at a situation and think, “Wow, I shouldn’t have done that! I should’ve taken the risk and accepted the job offer/expressed my true feelings/went after my “impossible” dream!” Likely, most of us have felt this way. This feeling is an unsettling realization that fear held you back from something that could have been life-changing.
Self-sabotage is a protective mechanism that “shields” us from situations that we deem risky and could cause us future pain. However, this way of thinking can prevent us from trying new things, destroy relationships, and keep us in a constant circle of negativity. Let’s learn what we can do to change this!
Why do We Sabotage Our Happiness?
Fear of Trying & Failing – If you avoid taking risks to keep yourself “safe” from disappointment, this might be the reason.
Fear of What Happens After Succeeding – This happens when you have anxiety about taking on bigger responsibilities, expectations, or life changes.
Imposter Syndrome – This might be true if you believe you are not worthy of success or happiness.
Negative Core Beliefs – Having strong convictions like “I don’t deserve to be happy” regularly.
Comfort in Familiarity – If you’re scared of change, you may be stuck in negative patterns because they are safe if you are afraid to change.
Past Trauma & Emotional Wounds – If you have never given yourself the time to heal old wounds, unresolved issues could be leading to self-destruction.
Signs of Self-Sabotage in Daily Life
Self-sabotage comes in many forms and is not always obvious. It can camoflage itself as harmless in the case of procrastination, hesitation, or even perfectionism. Here are some of the indicators that you are unconsciously sabotaging yourself.
1. Procrastination and avoidance
2. Perfectionism and self-doubt
3. Second-guessing and overthinking
4. Self-sabotaging relationships (pushing people away and creating conflict)
5. Unhealthy habits (overspending and lack of self-care)
Break the Cycle!
Recognizing Patterns of Self-Sabotage – Identifying your specific thoughts and behaviors that lead to self-destructive behaviors.
Challenging Negative Beliefs – Reframing your negative thoughts and, instead, practicing self-compassion.
Building Self-Awareness – Engaging in activities that promote mindfulness, self-expression, and self-reflection to achieve personal growth.
Embracing Discomfort & Growth – Accepting that life is filled with changes and uncertainty.
Seeking Support – Going to therapy, coaching, or talking to a trusted friend.
Road to Happiness
Don’t reflect on what once was! Create your road to the happy life you deserve. You never know what life would’ve been like unless you tried to pursue what makes you happy.