Ah, back to school. Perhaps you ended your summer feeling rested, rejuvenated and resurrected after the chaos of the last school year. You returned to campus, ready for a fresh start. Resolutions in order. Positive outlook on the upcoming months. You see a friend, or acquaintance, and it slips out: “So, what did you do this summer?” A harmless conversation starter, right? Wrong. They light up at the question, unleashing a laundry list of fancy internships, swoon-worthy travels and life-changing experiences.
Does this make you feel inadequate? It’s not a good feeling, but it’s all too normal. Comparing ourselves to others is a year-round issue (thanks, social media!), but when we’re in back-to-school mode, it becomes even easier to feel inadequate in the face of others’ accomplishments. Why can’t we all just be happy for each other, you ask? In a perfect world, we could be. But in this very real world, the slightest bit of (completely normal) insecurity can send us into a spiral of comparison.
My second day back on campus, I headed to orientation for my major, where I ran into a group of friends. A close friend of mine was rambling on about a fancy internship she’d done in London. Jeez; I studied abroad this summer, but London sounds so much cooler. And she got work experience! And she’s probably, like, super posh now (read that in a British accent for the full effect). But when I saw her at a party two days later, she confessed to me that it had been a remote internship; sure, headquarters were in London, but she’d never gone. And they had forgotten to pay her, and she hadn’t really liked the work, anyway.
Everyone tends to cover up the gross, real bits of life. I do it; you probably do, too. Only my closest friends and family know when I’m really struggling. You get the backstage pass to your own life, but for almost everyone else, you’re watching a consciously curated show. It’s been said before, but a reminder never hurts: you can never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life. They say they had a fantastic summer? Maybe they did. Or maybe that’s not the full story. Either way, what someone says they’ve accomplished shouldn’t have enough weight to shake your self-worth.
I’m sure you did something this summer. A fancy internship? Great! It wasn’t perfect, though? Neither was anyone else’s. Or maybe you relaxed all summer, taking time to see friends and family, to do hobbies, to sleep in. How healthy and self-caring of you! Or maybe you worked all summer, paying for school or building up savings. How responsible and productive. You should be proud.
Yes, it’s difficult, but next time someone tells you what they did over the summer (which is bound to happen a million times over your college career), take it in and then let it go. What others accomplish says nothing about you. Besides, there is something much more important to focus on now: the future school year! Summer is behind us; fall quarter, here we come.