“Break the pattern or the pattern repeats itself” is a common mantra, yet we fail to talk about how difficult it can be to break the pattern.
When it comes to bad habits, it can be a grueling process trying to stop. You make the commitment to want to quit, try for a few days, weeks, even months, and then one of two outcomes will happen:
- You successfully break the habit! A common rule of thumb is that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or break an old one. With perseverance and intention with your actions, it can be done!
- But unfortunately, the much more common outcome would be that at some point in the process, you gave in. The craving got to you, and perhaps you just couldn’t resist.
I’m here to tell you it is okay. After all, we as humans are creatures of habit. Routine adds a sense of stability into our lives and calms us, and if your bad habit is something that you have been doing for a long time, it is not going to change overnight, and maybe not even in 21 days. An article from Healthline.com suggests that it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to break a habit.
But what even can be considered a “bad habit”? I think it is quite easy to equate bad habits with the classic compulsive habits that we know are bad for us like nail-biting or cracking your joints obsessively.
The reality though is our bad habits run deeper than these surface-level things, and have the power to bleed into our daily lives and how we function. And though I hate to admit it, I have my fair share of bad habits, and I am constantly in a tug of war with myself to try to reframe and reshape. I will go to sleep after 2 am multiple nights a week. I skip meals sometimes to the point I feel like I may pass out. I struggle with eye contact and, of course, we can’t forget nail-biting.
Time and time again I fall into these habits because habits are cyclical. They happen often in our lives, hence why they are called habits, so when we are constantly presented with the choice to continue a common behavior or change, it is ridiculously easy to just continue a behavior.
But, instead of having negative self-talk and getting upset and frustrated with ourselves every time we fall back into bad habits, I think it is important that we remember our own self-importance, and when we need to give ourselves grace for our behaviors.
You’re not a failure if you don’t break a bad habit on the first, second, third, or even the seventeenth try. What matters is that you are making a conscious effort to try to grow and improve yourself. Retraining your brain cannot happen overnight.
Some Tips to Help You Along the Way:
- Find your motivation.
- Focus on your goals at the end of your journey. What do you hope to look like a few months from now and how will changing your habits benefit your life? Visualizing these things and giving them deep thought will help with motivation!
- Small changes lead to big differences!
- I would recommend starting small as you are trying to break habits because trying to change too many things all at once will be hard to keep up with and increases the chances you’ll go back to bad habits. Try cutting things down in moderation or one thing at a time. For example, if you are trying to cut down on caffeine, maybe limit the number of days you drink coffee to 3-4 times a week and cut back from there.
- Keep going!
- I think most important of all is to just have a positive mindset as you try to quit your bad habits. Slip-ups will happen and I cannot stress this enough it is totally natural! Just don’t fret over it too much, pick yourself up and try again!
If this article resonates with you in any way, remember you are not alone. Every person struggles with their own quirks and habits every day, and it can be a real challenge to get through them. Still, you can rely on those around you to support you, and know you are capable of change! Best of luck to everyone out there who may be in the same boat as me.