As a generation, we have come a long way with slang and terminology. We have removed many unnecessarily offensive words from our vocabulary, and we are still improving. Thanks to Hilary Duff, the word “gay” is no longer synonymous with “uncool,” and many other words have been kicked to the wayside as well.
As time goes on, we’ll continue to grow and use more considerate and intelligent language. Here’s my suggestion for the next step: Stop saying “that makes me want to kill myself” or holding a sarcastic finger gun to your head. Sure, it seems like an innocent gesture for anyone who has never actually contemplated killing themself. It isn’t as innocent, though, when you think about the approximate 15% of young adults who show symptoms of depression and suicidal tendencies.
For those of us who do not struggle with depression, the thought of suicide seems foreign and unreal. Many people are so fortunate that they never understand how somebody could want to die. Since thoughts of depression and suicide are not regularly running through their minds, it’s easy to include potentially harmful phrases in everyday conversation. When talking about an unfortunate circumstance, it’s common to hear someone say, “It was awful. I wanted to die,” or “just kill me so I don’t have to deal with that.”
Death, particularly self-inflicted death, should never be taken lightly. Depression and suicide leave lasting affects on people all around us. At any given time, you could be in the presence of people who have lost someone to suicide, or might be thinking about taking their own life. People who have been affected by suicide are painfully aware of the seriousness of the matter, and are hurt when others do not take it as seriously. Every time somebody pretends to shoot themself because they don’t want to deal with something inconvenient, it brings back painful memories that are hard to escape. For people struggling with depression, those gestures can be even more dangerous. By using phrases like “I wanted to die,” in insignificant situations, it seems like we are discounting the seriousness of their pain. When people actually do want to die, we should not be joking about their disease; we should be helping them find reasons to live.
Depression is an illness that comes in many forms, making it difficult to know if those around you are struggling. The disease lives in our brains and doesn’t always show itself to others. Since depression could be silently living in people around us, it’s best to eliminate nasty habits that could be negatively affecting them. If you get stuck in an unfortunate situation, here are some phrases you can use instead of saying “I’m going to kill myself”…
- “I would much rather be doing something else right now”
- “This is extremely inconvenient, and I hope it is over soon”
- “This is at the top of my list of least favorite things”
- “I can’t wait to relax when this is over”
- “I am feeling very anxious and I wish I had a dog to pet”
If you need alternative ways to exercise your fingers instead of making finger guns…
- Write or type about your thoughts and feelings
- Get yourself a fidget cube
- Play a fast paced game on your phone
- Experiment with shadow puppets
- Teach yourself finger-tutting
We have the power to influence the world with kindness, so let’s do that instead of use careless phrases and finger guns. While cutting those phrases and gestures out of your life will be a small change, it will be an impactful one.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255
The Lifeline Twitter – @800273TALK