There is no official rule book for how to politely ask your roommate to stop blasting videos on their phone at 2 a.m., but maybe there should be. No one wants an awkward cold war with a total stranger that you live side by side with in a 12-by-15-foot room. So, let’s talk about how this can be easily avoided through five basic rules.
- Personal Space and Boundaries
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Dorm rooms don’t come with a wall separating each other’s sides, so if laundry starts migrating to the contrasting side, trust me, your roommate will notice. It is important to keep your personal space tidy and presentable because, although it is your side, your roommate still sees (and smells) everything, too. This includes making your bed, picking up dirty clothes, and cleaning up after yourself. Cleaning up food is especially important because it reduces the risk of bugs. Yuck!
Remember when I mentioned doom scrolling at 2 a.m.? That is okay! There is no judgment about messed-up sleep schedules here! I would just recommend investing in a pair of headphones to contain the noise. Continuing on the topic of noise, quiet zones should always be respected, especially when someone is studying, sleeping, or on an important call.
- Guests and Social Life
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Having friends over and hosting is part of the fun in college, but remember, these are still guests in your roommate’s bedroom. It is polite to ask in advance (not when your friends are outside waiting for your thumbs-up) if you can have people over. Out of respect and inclusion, it is also nice to introduce your roommate to your friends and even invite them to join in on the fun!
As far as overnight guests, it is vital to respect what your roommate is comfortable with. It is always okay to take the party elsewhere, depending on the scenario, and never kick your roommate out of their room for any reason. Again, this is a shared space, so please do not put a sock on the door for a signal. Not only is that cliché, but it’s also extremely disrespectful.
- Communication
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If you are bothered by something, always communicate your concerns. Your roommate won’t know if there is an issue if it is not discussed. When communicating, it is better to do it face-to-face, rather than using passive-aggressive, colorful sticky notes around the room. This will eventually solve and stop later problems from forming, which benefits everyone in the long run. And if your roommate comes to you with a problem, don’t jump to conclusions and become defensive. Instead, hear them out and communicate.
Communication is also necessary when asking to borrow items, whether it’s using each other’s cleaning supplies or eating food that belongs to someone else. At the start of the year, you can talk about what items can be shared and borrowed, so you have a sense of what you can ask for. At the end of the day, asking is better than getting caught red-handed.
- Bathroom Etiquette
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Sharing a bathroom with multiple people can get tricky, as it has a tendency to get messy very quickly. To save space from clutter, it is highly recommended to buy a shower caddy (use a mesh caddy to avoid mold). That way, it is still possible to have a 20-step hair routine and keep the clutter to a minimum. Command hooks are recommended for the backs of doors or walls so your towel can hang if your dorm doesn’t come with built-in hooks.
Everyone should pitch in. This goes for cleaning, buying toilet paper and paper towels, and taking out the trash. At the start of the year, talk about how you want this system to go. It is easier to set the rules early to allow a smooth-flowing routine that will last the whole year.
- Have Fun
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Whether you like the idea of dorming or not, it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, so make the most out of it! Who knows, your freshman college roommate could end up being your best friend for years. Go on sweet treat runs, set up a movie projector, and create memories together. Also, decorate your room to make it yours! There are a handful of decor DIY crafts you can do with your roommate that will personalize your dorm, such as felt name banners, initial bedazzling, and cork boards.
At the end of the day, dorm life is what you make out of it. Although the shoebox living situation might not be for everyone, it is truly an experience that shapes you, allows you to be independent, and possibly have a new lifelong friend. Just make sure to follow these unspoken rules to avoid a dorm room war!