My Journey With Pelvic Pain

Pelvic pain is something that many people experience but few talk about. Addressing concerns about your sexual health can be an embarrassing and isolating experience, and this lack of conversation creates a stigma on the topic that is almost as bad as the pain itself. 

Oftentimes, people with vulvas first experience pelvic pain when trying to use a tampon. The experience is more painful than the typical discomfort described by the school nurses who give the “period talk” let on. Since women’s health professionals tell us that we are expected to tolerate a certain amount of pain, it can be difficult to decide what is typical discomfort and what is irregular pelvic pain.

Personally, I didn’t really realize something may be wrong with me until I would unexpectedly start my period, ask if anyone had a pad, and hear, “I only use tampons, sorry.” This is a dreaded moment that many people with pelvic pain probably experience. It wasn’t until high school that I realized most of my peers had switched to tampons, and the immense pain that I experienced when attempting to use one was not the slight discomfort that they experienced. 

Though I suspected there was something wrong, I had no idea where to start the medical journey to seek help. The issue fell by the wayside for a couple of years, as finding the answer to why I experienced so much pain with penetration was not high on my list of priorities. That was until I started being sexually active and the pain began impacting my relationships and self-esteem. 

On two occasions, at the age of 18 and again at 19, I tried to see an OB/GYN, listing my reason for visiting as general concerns surrounding pelvic pain. However, both my mother’s OB/GYN and the UCF Health Clinic called me and canceled my appointment because I was too young for a pelvic exam, according to my health insurance. The language that I had to express my pain wasn’t enough of a concern for their offices to see me.

At the age of 20, I was finally able to address my pelvic pain when I was sent to get an internal ultrasound to determine if I had polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which was another battle in itself entirely. I expressed my concerns that I would not be able to tolerate the exam, which was brushed off with, “The technicians are used to dealing with people who experience pain.” They weren’t listening to me when I said it wasn’t just an immense amount of pain — my muscles themselves were tightened, closed off. No amount of “just take a deep breath” from the annoyed woman on the other side of these stirrups was going to help me. 

My inability to tolerate an internal ultrasound is what finally got me referred to a pelvic floor therapist. I was told I had pelvic floor dysfunction and would require physical therapy before being able to get the diagnostic ultrasound. 

treatment

Pelvic floor therapy is about as fun as it sounds. Luckily, the person I was working with was incredible and explained to me which parts of the organ were acting up. However, I still don’t know exactly what the source of my issue is; my guess is half anxiety and half hormones, which make the muscles in my pelvic area clamp. 

The actual therapy itself was equally painful and awkward. My physical therapist gave me stretches that would strengthen my pelvic floor, and the majority of my therapy involved working with dilator insertion to figure out what area of my pelvic floor was most tense. 

Though the therapy was supposed to be a three-month process, I ended up needing five months of weekly sessions to complete physical therapy. I still have extreme anxiety and discomfort when engaging in intimacy or getting pelvic exams; however, the physical aspect of my pain has improved greatly.

That being said, it was a very long process to get referred to a physical therapist, and the appointments were expensive and not covered by insurance. I am very fortunate that I was able to have access to treatment for something that so many people suffer from.

Takeaways

My experience navigating my pelvic floor health journey taught me that we should be having more conversations about women’s health. If the subject remains taboo, it becomes difficult for us to know when and how to advocate for a physician who can help you. This process has taken me to multiple physicians who have listened to me without really hearing what I was telling them, and has increased my medical anxiety tenfold. 

Women’s health is an area of medicine that needs much more research than what currently exists. Surrounding yourself with a community of people who have open conversations about the topic allows you to be empowered and informed to make the best decision for your body. 

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