Dear me,
It’s very clear that it’s been a bad week. You don’t really know why, but you feel very numb — like the world is just spinning around you, but you’re stuck and nothing seems to budge. Suddenly, everything that you love to do and have to do has become an inconvenience. You keep pushing everything back, telling yourself “I’ll focus on it tomorrow,” as you go back to back bed at 3 p.m. You try to occupy your mind by tackling a bunch of new projects, but instead, you just overwhelm yourself with upcoming due dates and no progress. Days have passed and you still find yourself blankly staring at your reflection wondering “Why am I like this?” You can’t eat. You can’t focus. You can’t go a day without sobbing. You either sleep way too much or not at all. All I know is: you’re not okay.
Alone doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel. Yeah, sure, you have loved ones (at least I hope the feeling is mutual). But you’re lacking the motivation to keep up with friendships and you feel like you’re pushing everyone away. Those who are important to you are also busy living their lives, and you don’t want to burden them. You’re afraid that they see you as “boring,” therefore, you avoid interaction altogether. You let yourself overthink, causing a strain on your relationships. You just can’t help it; it’s as if your brain is wired to think something is wrong.
I know you’re going through it. It’s okay, relapses happen. I’d be lying if I said that we only go through depression once. As cliché as it may sound, I know you’ll get through this. You have your battles, but you come out stronger each time. This has been an ongoing fight, but you can’t give up right now, because there’s so much you need to accomplish and there are so many people who love you. When you feel like you don’t have anyone, just know that you have your puppy at home who clearly loves you — you are their entire world. Just know this: It’s okay to have a bad week, but you’re stronger than your bad week.
Sincerely, me
