Perhaps one of the most grueling truths to grasp is the fact that much of life is mutable. Circumstances, people, materials, and resources are not only temporary but also ever-changing. And change is nothing if not difficult.
As creatures of habit, we long for things and people to last in our lives. We enjoy the comfort of familiarity. However, comfort is often the adversary of growth, and it can prevent us from embracing the double-sided nature of life, which guarantees that every negative has a positive and vice versa.
For example, pain can produce compassion, fear can produce bravery, challenges can produce resilience, failure can lead to success, confidence can lead to arrogance, love can lead to grief, and so on. Positive and negative aspects of life and change are as inseparable as the sun and the sky.
This duality of life is especially important to recognize as we dive headfirst into the New Year.
The New Year is an exciting time for most people, filled with abundant resolutions, goals, and hopes for all the optimistic changes we long to create in our lives. Though it’s no secret that many times, these resolutions immediately fail. According to Dr. Asim Shah in an interview with the Baylor College of Medicine, “…studies show that 88% of people who set New Year resolutions fail them within the first two weeks.”
This is typically due to several reasons, including ambitious goal setting, insufficient planning, a lack of motivation, and feeling excessive pressure to succeed, among other causes. Yet, a primary reason that is not discussed as often is the brain’s unrealistic perception of how change should not override comfort in life.
In other words, while it’s great to focus on the positives in life and to strive for more beneficial change during this year, it’s impossible to expect that those beneficial changes won’t potentially be accompanied or countered by adversity. However, this is difficult for our brains to accept.
Whether it’s adversity from trying to implement new habits into daily life that are difficult to maintain or situations from the old year that have had a rippling effect into the new one, the possibility of these adverse lows is just as likely as the highs of change.
In knowing this, we can alter our brain’s flawed perspective on how change should operate in our lives, and rewrite the “New Year, new me” mantra to “New Year, improved me.” Our aim for 2026 shouldn’t be to grow despite the negativity that may have challenged us in 2025, or that will challenge us now, but to grow because of it.
In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” This means that obstacles we perceive as negative are opportunities to produce a positive. Obstacles can be facilitators of personal growth, but we have to choose to let them. They do not discount positive change; they are complements.
Understanding the duplexity of life allows us to live it to the fullest, and to accept all facets of change, for better or for worse. It allows us to take advantage of every experience in our lives and learn from them, whether they’re good or bad.
Therefore, as we move further into 2026, be kind to the version of yourself from 2025 that you’re striving to improve, be mindful of the resolutions you’re setting, and be realistic with what you’re expecting from them. If you’re anticipating an easy road to success this year, also anticipate the roadblocks you may encounter. And don’t be discouraged by them; let them motivate you instead. Only then can true growth occur.