Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Sex + Relationships

Are You In Love or In Love with the Idea of Love?

One of the biggest questions you ask yourself when you’re beginning to get those butterflies in your stomach is: am I actually in love? Or am I just in love with the idea of love? Could this possibly be someone I might want to spend the rest of my life with? Can I even live without them? It can be so tough to decipher what you are feeling and whether or not it really is that big L word. We’ve all been there and questioned our most inner, deepest feelings towards someone, but now you finally don’t have to! Here are three simple, yet not so simple, questions to help you figure out whether you’re in love or not. You are welcome. 

How Long Have You Two Been Together?

One big factor of whether you like someone or love someone is the amount of time you spend with them. Love at first sight is an extremely rare thing, and you don’t actually know if you love someone until you truly get to know them for who they are, not who they simply portray themselves to be. Many people put on this “cool” front where they only share positive traits about themselves and even exaggerate how much they love certain things you happen to love too! What a crazy coincidence you think, until this “honeymoon phase” wears off and everything they do or say is no longer to impress you, it is simply them being themselves. If you can tell me some of their bad qualities, their fears, or things you know about them that not many people know AND that you think you might be in love with them, this might be the real deal. To reiterate, if you’ve been together for a few months, truly know each other, and still find yourself infatuated with them, then you might just be in love. Read on.

How Do You Feel Around Your Significant Other?

Go ahead and jot down some words that describe the way you feel with them. Did you use words like amazing, comfortable, goofy, safe, or happy? Or did you use words like okayish, nervous, confused, or shy? Allow me to elaborate: if you do not want to shout on the highest rooftops about how happy this person makes you feel or if you don’t get the desire to sing every. single. cheesy. love song that comes on in your car because you’re so stinkin’ happy to be with them, then maybe you aren’t in love just yet. However, if I just accurately described you, word for word, then I think we might just be onto something. 

What Do You Love About Them?

So let’s forget everything I’ve said and let’s hypothesize that you are in fact in love. Think about the person you love and rattle off what you love about them in your head. Did you think about their dreamy hair, smile, or maybe smokin’ hot bod? Did you think about how much your family and friends love them or how they’re admired in all of their clubs and/or fraternity? Did you think about how smart they are and how much money they’re making or are going to make? It may be great to have an ideal hottie like Channing Tatum in your life, and let’s be real—we could all use a Chuck Bass who showers us in gifts and private getaways to the Turks and Caicos on the weekends. However, true genuine love isn’t about any of that, or about any artificial things at all. It is about loving someone for who they truly are. Their thoughts, their goals, their fears, their innermost deepest feelings, everything. The good and the bad, the highs and the lows that life may throw at them. Love is appreciating how they think and adapt to challenges and successes. It is about loving their mind, their concept of life, and their own unique way of interpreting the meaning of everything. Love is about accepting someone for all they are and wanting nothing more than to make them the happiest person in the world. If that is how you feel towards someone, I think it is time to say those three monumental words. But if this no longer sounds like how you feel, I would wait it out a little longer and keep getting to know each other. Love takes time and there is no need to rush! When you know, you just simply know. Or you can ask yourself these three simple questions.

Sincerely, A Girl Who Just Figured Out She’s In Love

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4

Sofi is currently the Director of Marketing & Publicity here at Her Campus UCF & is majoring in the College of Business Marketing program with a minor in Psychology. While focusing on school she is also a Sales Development Representative for Statusphere. She is obsessed with all things yellow, reading, Pink Floyd, It's Always Sunny in Philly and her orange cat Garfield! Her plans after graduation are still undetermined, as a variety of completely different things spark her interest! You can keep up with her Instagram @sofi.shirey.
Similar Reads👯‍♀️