As this year comes to a close, I can say that I’m emotionally exhausted. But I can’t say it was unexpected; after all, I had vowed to step out of my comfort zone as 2020 came to a close. And after August, the beginnings of a difficult healing journey began out of compulsion. While I am not exactly where I hope to be, I have learned some very important lessons that serve as a constant reminder to continue bettering myself despite how impossible it may seem.
- people will leave
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You may notice that after you start to better yourself physically, mentally and emotionally, some of your peers may start acting differently. Whether it’s distant and cold text messages or no longer wanting to associate with you, the sudden change can ignite an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach. I have come to realize that this is normal. Working on yourself includes realizing your worth, and anybody who couldn’t see it won’t stick around.
- Everything happens for a reason
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I can apply this lesson to years of happenings and situations. As cliché as it sounds, our experiences are intertwined like a complex spider web that can’t be broken. A spontaneous situation or decision can transform the course of your life and you may not know it at the time. Our pitfalls and moments of glory are meant to guide us on our path to fulfill our purpose, and that includes healing. Whatever triggered your need to heal happened for a good reason, even if it doesn’t feel that way. A beautiful future lies ahead.
- You will have your good and bad days
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I saw an Instagram post a few years back that said “healing is not linear.” I never took that to heart until recently. There will be days where you feel energized and uplifted. You think to yourself, “I’m over it. Nothing can rain on my parade.” And then there will be other days where you’ll be sobbing in your bedroom at midnight, wondering when the pain will end. It’s important to remember, however, that every up and down means you’re getting closer to fully healing. Allow yourself to feel every emotion that comes your way.
- There Will be some serious rewiring
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Healing allows you to critically think about your old patterns or experience, and analyze why you behave the way you do or were affected by the experience. With this heavy internal work comes some serious accountability. For our own sakes, something needs to change in order to feel the positive changes that come with healing. This change can take place within our routine, mindset and interactions among other things.
- ACCEpt yourself as you are (and were)
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It’s easy to blame yourself for the way you were. Thoughts that may race through your head include, why did I believe this? How could I be so stupid? What is wrong with me? Erase the negativity from your mind. We conduct ourselves to the best of our ability in the present moment. One of the cruelest things we can do is bully ourselves. Your past doesn’t deserve that. Make peace with who you were, and who you are growing to become. Embrace the upcoming changes with open arms, and never forget your roots.
Healing is a process with many ups and downs. Hopefully, these tips will make the process just a little bit easier for you.