Post-college life is a funny thing. The last month of wrapping up my college career was a ride of emotions. I remember the relief of turning in the last final, the nervous excitement before walking across the stage, the chaos of trying to take pictures with friends and family after the ceremony, and the strange feeling when everyone had gone home after my graduation party.
For a moment, I felt the excitement of finally being free from deadlines and research papers. I was proud of how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve grown. But the bliss was quickly interrupted by thoughts of doubt and worry.
What was the next step for me? I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. It blew my mind that I had been in school for 17 years straight. For a majority of my life, I was pursuing an education. My path had been set in place for me from the start. But now, the routine of waking up, going to classes, and coming home and doing homework no longer applied to me.
While my daily routine in college was mundane, I found comfort in knowing what I had to do. But even in school, I would often feel guilty whenever I gave myself a break from studying, or if I spent a day not touching any school work. The guilt I carried when I was in school multiplied post-grad.
I told myself that I would give myself time to relax and recover from the burnout I experienced in college. But there were moments where I would fall into the mindset that I was not doing enough to prepare for my future career. I was worried that I would become too comfortable and not have any motivation to start my job search.
Sharing my concerns with friends and family, they reminded me that there is nothing wrong with taking a break. In order to hit the ground running in the next chapter of my life, taking the time to recuperate is necessary.
Choosing to take a break after graduating allowed me to take a breather from the brutal quarter system at UC Davis, and allowed me to reflect on my college experience. I finally had enough time to appreciate all the good times and learn from my lows. I also learned to appreciate the stillness of a slow day, and enjoy my time with friends and family.
I believe unlearning the need to always be productive will be a continuous uphill battle. I still have moments where I feel the guilt and stress on days when I have not done much. As I transition into the next stage of my life, I know I will continue to struggle with overcoming the guilt that accompanies choosing to take a break, but I know that rest will come easier with time.
This moment of transition has taught me the importance of rest. It is not selfish to give yourself a break. In that stillness, you give yourself the opportunity to recognize how far you’ve come, and ground yourself before the next step forward.