The COVID-19 spring of 2020 was defined for me almost as much by emerging trends and cultural shifts as by governmental restrictions, and it profoundly changed my outlook on life. As we all experienced, it was a time of reflection, forced change, and a reevaluation of what truly mattered once the routines and comforts we once took for granted were suddenly gone. The most stark change I can attribute to this experience was my perspective on personal wellness. My newfound perspective has become one of the key driving forces behind my approach to finding contentment today.
If you, like me, were addicted to social media apps like TikTok at the time, you likely encountered a wave of content where people were embracing a carefree, romanticized view of life, as changes inspired people to take things less seriously. I would come across videos of people laying in the rain on my For You Page to some coming-of-age-esque song, insisting they were the main character (and I’m not judging them because we all are and should think that).Â
This culture inspired me to stop giving my anxiety as much power as it had in my life. I started being more vulnerable with my friends by sharing stupid secrets and forgetting the meaning of TMI; I started saying yes to experiences that scared me like getting into my first relationship; and I started exploring my individuality by journaling and finding my own music taste. This period of my life was beautiful in so many ways because, looking back, these were the experiences that allowed me to really become my own person and find confidence in myself. But, part of the lifestyle accompanied by the freedom and perspective inspired by this “unprecedented time” (as everyone almost exclusively referred to it as) was very toxic.Â
In trying to regain a stronger grip on my life against personal mental struggles that previously defined me, I became somewhat wellness-obsessed; and as antithetical as it might seem, it wasn’t healthy. With so much free time on our hands, many people began or tried out new forms of working out, whether that be YouTube ab workouts, or long socially-distanced walks with friends. People also took up cooking, baking, coffee-making, and trying different healthy recipe trends that circled the internet.Â
Alongside the idea of romanticizing life, people started to be a lot more transparent about mental health and spirituality, in my opinion. This was the first time that I heard about the Law of Attraction and quickly became consumed by a lifestyle of journaling, meditating, working out, drinking kombucha, listening to podcasts, etc. Don’t get me wrong, this sounds like a great lifestyle in many ways, but the way I went about incorporating these activities into my life put it out of balance. If I didn’t work out one day, or write down 3 affirmations and 3 things I was grateful for right when I woke up, I felt like a failure. I had all the right ideas, but in my execution of trying to promote self-care, I was self-sabotaging myself.
Now, the world and I alongside it have since returned to a state of perceived “normalcy,” but that period has left an indelible mark on my life. I was taught a new perspective on self-growth, and through that, was able to establish a life of balance, incorporating the mentality of pre-COVID and COVID me.Â
Now, I undeniably live a life I romanticize heavily—and I love it. I’m still definitely type A and will always be with an obsession with making to-do lists, sticking to my goals of working out, and practicing self-care. But I don’t place such a strong emphasis on it that I break down if I change my plans to go on a spontaneous adventure with my friends, or spend a little longer chatting with them over a meal than I had anticipated.Â
Above all, I prioritize my current happiness, not the things I think are best for me in hopes of seeking long-term contentment. Those things won’t help if present me is driven mad over trying to meet goals that aren’t always attainable. Just like 2020 trends insisted, I am the main character in my own life, taking control over my perspective of life so I can create one I am satisfied by and love living.