The starry-eyed dream of perfection was my nightmare fuel for years; it haunted my every academic pursuit with repetitive condemnation. Neglecting my physical and mental well-being, I allowed it to push me to the brink of exhaustion over and over again. But amidst my first year of college, reality finally crushed me. It forced me to accept that perfection is an illusion, an elusive ideal that blinded me from the simple beauties of imperfection and growth. Growing out of my naive aspirations has taught me valuable lessons about life, and I’ll share them with you now.Â
1. you don’t have to feel guilty for being “unproductive”
“I can’t relax if I still have work to do! I’ll sleep when I finish all of my work!” To be completely honest, these thoughts still pop up in my mind every so often. When schoolwork began to pile up, I constantly pulled all-nighters. Always tired or sick, this took a toll on my body. I needed to believe that sleep isn’t unproductive, and coffee isn’t a meal. Taking breaks and taking care of myself is productive and necessary.
2. burnout isn’t laziness
Complete exhaustion overtook every aspect of my life at one point. Not only was I unmotivated to finish my assignments, but I was also unmotivated to socialize and pursue enjoyable activities. Undeservedly, I blamed myself for being lazy. But in actuality, my chronic need for action caused me to feel burnt out. Prioritizing my mental health was the key to feeling refreshed again.
3. overworking isn’t a competition
As a student at Cal, I know this may be hard to accept. There’s a culture of overwork in academia that seems to glorify sleep deprivation and prolonged hours of studying. For years, I was immersed in this “competition,” comparing myself to others and feeling like I was falling behind if I took a break. I definitely experienced slight imposter syndrome during my first year, but speaking with other students made me realize that very few people actually have their lives figured out.Â
4. there’s more to life than academic validation
The past two years, in particular, have exposed me to numerous experiences that made me feel content. From friends to hobbies to spontaneous trips, I’ve created memories that I’ll cherish. Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t stopped prioritizing school, but I’ve realized that I can have multiple priorities. And this range of priorities brings me happiness.
5. respect yourselF
Time has taught me that I’m not a machine. Thus, I can’t force myself to produce perfection, and it’s illogical to subject myself to that pressure. Now, I know that I deserve self-love and self-care.Â
Following much self-reflection, I learned the importance of balance and acceptance. In some ways, I still strive for perfection. However, my definition of perfection has changed. It’s not an unhealthy cycle of meticulous self-criticism, but a healthy cycle of growth. This change has motivated me to consider my personal needs, allowing me to accept my faults and recharge my passions.