Undeniably, college life is often characterized by a whirlwind of social activities. Such experiences are having roommates, partying, club meetings, late-night study sessions with classmates, and spontaneous outings. Although these ventures tend to be sprinkled throughout one’s college experience, the question at hand is what happens in the moments when we find ourselves to be alone? The idea of eating alone in a dining hall, running solo errands, or even watching a movie by yourself can feel uncomfortable or even shameful to some, as if solitude is something to be pitied rather than embraced.
The stigmas surrounding being alone in college is indisputable. With so many social activities vying for attention, there’s often an unspoken pressure to always be in the company of others, suggesting that if you’re seen by yourself, you must be missing out. However, the reality is that solitude in college isn’t just something that will happen. Instead, it’s a necessary experience that deserves to be embraced rather than shunned.
Finding comfort in your own presence isn’t something that happens overnight. It requires unlearning the fear of being alone, which many students grapple with during their freshman year. The transition from high school, where parents dictated schedules and structured school hours, to the freedom of college life can feel overwhelming. As a college student, you get to decide when and what to eat, where to study, and how to spend your free time. However, with this independence often comes the challenge of facing solitude.
While it’s great to have friends to share experiences with, the reality is that everyone has their own lives, and others won’t always surround you. Embracing moments of solitude is an important part of navigating this new chapter in life. For instance, the first time I sat alone in a dining hall, I instinctively pulled out my phone and put on my headphones, scrolling endlessly to look busy. As silly as it sounds, I was worried that people would judge me and assume that I had no one to dine with when, in reality, all of my friends were back home for that weekend. It took some time for me to realize that nobody was really paying attention to what I did. I wasn’t being judged for sitting alone, and everyone was equally too absorbed in their own world.
After letting go of that fear, I started to see the freedom and comfort in enjoying one’s own company. Although I undeniably love going out to eat with my friends, eating alone allowed me to sit wherever I wanted, eat at my own pace, and enjoy my food without the pressure of conversation.
After this instance, I found myself experimenting with doing more activities alone and began to romanticize it and act as if I were the main character in a movie. I decided to continue this trend beyond merely eating alone, but taking myself on little “dates” whenever I felt I needed to clear my mind. I would go to cafes to do work, take myself to a shopping plaza, and allow myself to sit in silence. I also found that I enjoyed listening to music while taking solo walks and venturing to new places I had always wanted to visit.
Through these experiences, I found that spending time alone helped me appreciate my own thoughts and being. I learned how to be present, listen to my needs, and be content without constant validation from others. Ultimately, I was able to learn more about myself than I did before. I got to know myself outside of group dynamics, observing my thoughts and reactions to new things without outside opinions, and developing a sense of self and security. I found that being alone in college isn’t necessarily a sign of loneliness; it’s a sign of independence and confidence. It’s during these moments of solitude that you truly learn about yourself and start to appreciate your own company.