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Loving Someone with Depression

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UAB chapter.

Depression is an invisible illness. Suffering from this and having someone around who doesn’t understand is a struggle. Do not be that person who doesn’t understand or, even worse, doesn’t care to understand. Essentially, depression makes an individual tired and makes them not want to do anything that they may need to do. When someone is constantly afraid of failure, in any aspect, that stresses out the brain even more. There isn’t motivation in the body, yet there is worry prevalent in the brain. If you think you are receiving mixed signals, just think about how your person is feeling. How can you help the one that you love sail through the day on calm-ish waters? (It won’t be smooth sailing, but you can help them from hitting icebergs.)

School, college especially, is the worst time to have depression. Check on your babe every day, or every other day, at the least. See how their schoolwork is coming along. If you see that your significant other is getting behind, offer to help them study. Remind them of their goals and let them know that those goals are obtainable. Motivate them as much as possible without pushing them too far.

Just be there. Sometimes advice isn’t needed. Let your person complain. Let them tell you all of the things that are going on in their head whether you understand them or not because 9/10 times, they do not fully comprehend what is happening to them. Hold your lover. Let them cry on you and then once they have let it all out, let them fall asleep on you. If one day seems to be particularly worse than others, do all of the things previously listed plus giving them their favorite things.  Watch their favorite movie(s) with them. Sing their favorite love/slow song to them (unless you can’t sing, although, it is the thought that counts… it may make them smile just because you tried just for them) or just play it for them. If they like candles, turn off the lights and light a few and just enjoy the calm.

 Most importantly, NEVER forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Constant reassurance is key.

A young, married woman just pushing her way through college.
HCUAB