Start Doing Things By Yourself

You’re stuck in the place yet again where you want to do something fun but you can’t find anyone to do it with.  After asking every person you know, you quickly discover they are all busy or uninterested.  Instead of giving up on your plans altogether, go out and do it by yourself! 

Unless your activity absolutely requires another person, chances are you can do it alone.  Although it may be awkward at first, doing things by yourself and for yourself will help you to feel more comfortable in your own company, grow your independence, and take responsibility for your own happiness. 

A lot of us are uncomfortable being alone.  We run out of things to do, get bored, and even get upset when we lack human interaction.  There’s also the discomfort that comes from being alone in a public setting. No one wants to be the sad person out eating or shopping by themselves.  Although, if you take the time to think, there isn’t much justification for these kinds of ideas.  The occasional absence of other people from your life doesn’t make you weird or sad.  Participating in life independent of others boosts your own confidence and further establishes your personal identity. You learn more about what you genuinely enjoy doing without peer pressure and distraction from others. The first time, or even the first few times you go out by yourself, you are going to feel uncomfortable.  But, if you give yourself enough time to adjust, that feeling will begin to go away and you will find yourself more confident, more comfortable, and enjoying your own company.

Independence is a concept that is very valued these days in American society, especially for women. Independence encompasses the act of reducing your reliance on others. When everyone else is too busy or uninterested to do something with you, and you cancel your plans because of that, you display a reliance on other people. Sometimes things are more fun with your friends or require participation from a larger group, and in those instances cancelling is a valid decision.  In other instances where you can do something by yourself and find that no one wants to go with you, fight the urge to cancel and take that experience as an opportunity to work on your independence. Each time you reduce your reliance on others by doing what you want to do despite outside participation, you become more independent and secure in yourself.  

One key to living a consistently happy life is to stop allowing others control over your happiness. No one else should be in charge of your emotions.  In doing things by yourself and for yourself, you stop giving others the opportunity to wreck your day.  In situations where you want to do something, can’t find anyone to do it with, and then cancel, you end up unhappy and miss out on the fun you could have had.  In the situations in which you want to do something, can’t find anyone to do it with, and then still do it anyway, your day ends with feelings of happiness and accomplishment.  Don’t give people the power to ruin things for you.  Take responsibility for your own happiness and don’t let someone else decide the outcome of your experiences. 

Even if it only happens occasionally, doing things by yourself and for yourself will greatly improve your comfort, independence, and happiness.  You are the only one in control of your experiences, so don’t let others stop you from doing what you want to do.  Whether it be going to that restaurant you love, seeing that new movie you’ve had your eye on, or shopping downtown, if no one else wants to go, screw them! Get out by yourself and have the best time anyways!