Struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be difficult enough as it is, but when adding the hardships that accompany being a student it creates many new challenges.
One such hardship that I struggle with is the incessant need for academic validation. Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes an A grade or kind feedback from my professor is all I need to get through the week and feel positive about myself. At the same time, that comes with an inevitable sense of defeat and self-loathing, if I don’t measure up to my unrealistic expectations.
Further, my OCD boosts up my perfectionist tendencies to 100%, causing me to perform pointless, annoying tasks like looking over my essay about a trillion times for errors and neglecting other aspects of my life. If I don’t engage in these compulsions I get these anxious, ruminating thoughts for the rest of the school day out of fear that I may have heard my professor incorrectly while in lecture (ugh). If you struggle with OCD like me and/or have a need for academic validation, perhaps you can hear where I’m coming from and feel my woes.
Here are three ways that I like to cope with the difficulties of OCD and an incessant desire for academic validation.
Keep in mind that everyone is different, and different things work for different people.
These are just based on my personal experiences:
you should consult a licensed professional for any and all mental health concerns.
1. Dismissing the Urge for Certainty
In reality, it is often impossible to know things with 100% certainty; therefore, it has been important for me to learn that I need to let some things remain uncertain (the word is spooky just looking at it!). As someone with OCD, this idea drives me crazy as I thrive in areas where I feel most certain. Nonetheless, accepting that I can’t control everything and that some things will simply be unknown (eg. how I did on the exam I have not yet gotten a grade for, how my teacher views me overall as a student, or if I accidentally skipped a question on the test that I handed in two weeks ago) is a valuable practice for my mental health. While I could drive my profs crazy and email them constantly, bombarding them with questions regarding certainty (hey… I’m not above it, I’ve definitely been there!), I have generally learned that, for me, an effective way of managing OCD and anxiety is accepting my uncertainty and finding some sense of peace with it.
2. Striving for Balance
Sometimes, I find myself intensely preoccupied with school because of my OCD and my desire for academic validation, and this causes me to put other important aspects of my life on pause. Yet, it is precisely the integration of a balance in life that assists me with my mental health by leading me to walk away from academic obsessions or general overthinking. For example, if I have not contacted a friend or family member in a while, I might step away from an essay with a looming deadline and go chat them up. Or, I’ll do something nice for myself, engage in self-care, and put on a fancy face mask. Most of all: it is integral that I remind myself that while school is certainly important, there are other valuable aspects of my life which are important too.
3. Finding an Identity Outside of School
One reason why some people become so obsessed with academic validation is because they identify their primary role in life as a “student” and live mostly within that role. There is absolutely nothing wrong with living in this role, but I have found that finding aspects of my identity that are external to academics has helped me not revolve my thoughts solely around academic obsessions. Moreso, it has helped me to quench the craving for special feedback from my teachers or “perfect marks”. One such way I have done so is by engaging with the part of my identity that loves artistic things, like creative writing and poetry (and not writing for only academic sake, but simply for pleasure’s sake). I will write poems, read them, analyze them, and so on. This activity helps me realise that there is much more to me than just the label “university student”, which has felt relieving. Some ways to discover an identity outside of school include but are not limited to: doing something artsy, trying a new sport or form of physical activity, learning a new language, and engaging in cultural expression.