Growing up is bittersweet. We get more freedom, but with that comes more responsibility. As adults, we’re forced to act mature and professional, and suppress many of our emotions. But deep down, there’s a child in all of us who influences our behaviour, who longs to be acknowledged and heard.
Your inner child is the child you once were, residing in your subconscious and often taking over when faced with challenging situations. Whether you were criticized on a regular basis as a child, or didn’t receive much physical affection, these circumstances can have a long-lasting impact on your psyche. As a result, when something triggers these wounds in adulthood, we tend to react disproportionately.
Embracing and communicating with your inner child is one of the most profound and helpful forms of introspection you can do. By ignoring your inner child, you get stuck in patterns of behaviour and thoughts, which can lead to problems with relationships, anxiety, addiction, and emotional dysregulation.
How to connect with your inner child
I’ve always struggled with deep-rooted insecurity, feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with me. I find that connecting with my inner child helps ease this feeling. When my thoughts about myself are cruel, I imagine how an innocent child would feel if I spoke to them that way.
Here are some ways you can honour your inner child:
- Look at childhood photos of yourself. Pay attention to the outfits and accessories you were wearing, or the toys you were playing with. Try to imagine how you felt in those moments.
- Talk to yourself as if you’re a parent or older sibling reassuring a scared child—either out loud, or in your head.
- Write letters to the child version of yourself. I like to say things such as, “You’re a gift to this world. You matter to people. You have a beautiful soul. You’re so smart. You don’t have to be afraid. You are capable of so much. Be gentle and patient with yourself.”
- Allow yourself to engage in childlike activities, such as going on the swings at a playground or building a pillow fort.
- Watch old shows, cartoons, or movies you used to enjoy as a child.
You may feel silly doing these things but I promise it’s worth it. There’s no shame in the healing process. Your inner child never goes away, so start embracing it!