WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT YOUR FIRST MONTH OF COLLEGE

They say it will be the time of your life. That first taste of freedom. And they’re not entirely wrong, but they’re not entirely right either. 

I was the girl who was so ready to move to school. So ready to get out of the small town I had always known. I couldn’t wait to be independent and start building my own life. So on August 23, 2025, you can imagine my excitement as I drove away from my childhood home to settle into Ann Arbor. 

That first night was like a fever dream. I couldn’t believe I had just moved away from home and was living alone in a new city. The next few days carried the same euphoria, and I found myself entirely wrapped up in the joy of my independence, excited to get to live like this for the next four years. 

However, I quickly came to realize that though I loved what I was doing here at U Mich, something was missing. I remember the first time I truly felt homesick. Ironically, it was when I was surrounded by over 110,000 people that I truly felt alone for the first time in college. I was in the Big House watching the Wolverines play their first game of the season when I looked around and realized that none of these people around me knew the first thing about me. Don’t get me wrong, I made some great friends in my first week that I am so grateful for, but my heart just longed for familiarity. It was a wave of sadness that almost brought me to tears in the middle of the game. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to go home. 

I was so mad at myself in that moment. This was all I had dreamed about. And now I had it, and all I longed for was the same home I couldn’t wait to leave a week ago. That Sunday morning, I went to brunch with my parents, and my dad asked me a simple question that absolutely shattered the fragile mask of happiness I was wearing: “Do you miss home?” I broke down immediately, right in the middle of the cafe. 

While I sobbed in my dad’s arms, my mom assured me that I could always come home. She was right, it was Sunday, and I didn’t have class on Monday. I could make the quick two-hour drive home for a night or two. Easy enough, except it wasn’t. I’d only been in college for nine days—I couldn’t go home already. That would prove that I couldn’t handle this. It would make me a failure. But at this moment, I felt so broken already that I couldn’t care less about being more of a failure, so I went home.

Before I knew it, it was Tuesday morning, and I was driving back to Ann Arbor. The next couple of days carried a feeling of emptiness like I had never felt before. The kind that creates a pit in your stomach that will not disappear. All I could think about was how this was going to be my life for the next four years, and I absolutely hated it.

I was fortunate enough to see my family most weekends during that first month. They came to Ann Arbor for the football games on Saturdays. I yearned for the weekend each and every week, becoming a ghost in my own dreadful routine, just surviving for the next five days. But every time Sunday morning rolled around, the emptiness returned, even stronger than before.

After four weeks of being stuck in this miserable cycle, the stress started to take a toll on my body, and I knew something had to change. 

I was alone. All alone. But maybe that was a beautiful thing if I learned to change my perspective. I was in charge of building my own life, so why wasn’t I building the one I loved? I started building a routine that I loved. I started to fall in love with the city of Ann Arbor and the person I was growing into. I started taking time to be grateful for the life I was living. I was feeling like myself again, but better, something I never imagined could happen here. 

I began to really appreciate the experience I was living in. I moved to an entirely new city by myself, knowing no one, and I got to become the person I wanted to be. How beautiful was this new life I was building? As I sit here now, writing about my journey so far, I’m filled with emotions. I am so proud of myself for the growth, learning, and joy I have experienced in these last seven weeks. I love my life in Ann Arbor, I love my community in Ann Arbor, and I love that there is still so much room to grow in ways I still cannot imagine. I know now that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

If I could give myself pre-college advice, I would tell her so many things. But most importantly, I would tell her that it is going to be hard, no matter what you see or hear from other people. Moving away is a completely new experience, and while it’s exciting, it’s equally terrifying. Embrace the hard times; they make the good times so much sweeter. Cling to your faith and do not be afraid to lean on the ones you love. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away. IT WILL GET BETTER! Change is scary, but forever wondering what could have been is scarier. 

Welcome to your new life, it’s all yours to build.

• change
• city life
• college
• gratitude
• mental health
• moving out