As a part of my scrolling this year, I have continually come across videos on TikTok and Instagram Reels about what a “High-Value Woman” is, and—even more annoyingly—how to become one. These videos can take the form of women glamorizing their dating experiences, flexing their tradwife lifestyle, or even as men dishing out advice on how women should act in order to secure love or a long-term commitment.
I have two questions. First off, in 2026, why are we still doing this? And even worse, why are we still listening?
With social media dominating the public discourse for many of us, it’s hard to now see entire accounts dedicated to creating this type of content; profiles that define “how to be a woman” with specific steps on how to look, act, and feel in romantic relationships.
I’m pretty fixed in how I feel about this new fad: I’m done.
Historically, women’s physical appearances have been nitpicked by marketing to instill fear and increase beauty product sales. Now, in the comfort of our own homes, feminine-focused fear tactics are being targeted right at our core identities through individual creators. Whether for capitalists’ gains or influencers’ pockets, I am sick of women being exploited for profit. The result of these ‘businesses’ on college-aged women? Lower self-esteem, increased self-questioning, and overall damage to entire communities of young ladies.
These accounts post about how long to wait before texting, how long to wait before engaging in intimacy, what to say, how to speak, what to wear… UGH!
What is this so-called “high-value woman” anyways?
A high value woman is you. It is me. It is your mother, your sister, your grandmother, your best friend, your aunt, your professor, your doctor, your therapist, your waitress… I think you get the point.
The problem with high value is that these accounts reduce it to a single expression. These posts are riddled with phrases like, “don’t chase, attract” and “protect your energy”. While these ideas that may work for some, they can force self-abandonment or disconnection for others. The reality is, everybody has value and is fit for love. When we internalize the messages of this exhausting trend, we are robbing ourselves of the exact magic we already possess. The love that we truly deserve will come naturally.
Please believe it when I tell you that there is nothing you need to do to become someone deserving of a partner’s attention. Amidst all of this noise, please remember that you are the only one who can strip away your value simply by not believing it is something you already possess.
As college women, we already deal with enough scrutiny from a confusing dating culture compounded with never-ending online pressure. I encourage you to put down your phone and check in on your girlfriends, remind them of their worth and raise them up.
When we embrace who we are and what we uniquely love, people that are meant for us will trickle in. So be brave enough to let down your guard! When we nurture what makes us special, those around us can’t help but see that light too.
Keep you head up, because you are beautiful inside and out and most certainly already a high-value woman.