Do you find yourself saying yes to everything people spring upon you? Whether it’s plans or favors, you are always saying yes. I mean, it is much easier to say yes and see the smile come across their face than to say no and have to quickly come up with an excuse and carry the fear that you let them down. But it’s just not realistic to always say yes.
What about those days where you finally get back to your dorm room after a long day of classes, and you know what you need is to take a shower, hop in bed, watch Netflix and get some good sleep? But, when you walk through your door, your roommate asks if you’ll help her with her math homework, or she asks you to come with her to the dining hall because she somehow forgot to eat dinner earlier. I think most of us would tend to just say yes, it’s a lot easier. But when you say yes on a day like that, you are putting yourself second when you really need to put yourself first.
That might sound scary or even selfish. But I am here to tell you that it most certainly is not. Prioritizing yourself is an art, and you can do it without being selfish, and you can do it without “disappointing” your friends.
Treat yourself like you’d treat your friend
If your friend told you she wasn’t feeling well and she has had a long day but she has to go to a workout class she promised her sister she’d go to – you’d probably tell her to text her sister and cancel the workout class. But if that was you in that situation, would you cancel the class? Probably not! You need to treat yourself like you’d treat your friend.
set healthy BOUNDARIES
Let your friends know what you are okay with and what just isn’t your thing. For example, if all of your friends love to go out every Thursday but you have a Friday 8 a.m. and would rather just wait for the weekend to go out – you can let them know that you love them but Thursdays just aren’t your thing. And that is okay!
Or maybe all your friends want to hang out every school night starting at 10, but that’s practically your bedtime! Let them know that you are prioritizing your sleep and that you’ll hang out with them over the weekend when you don’t have homework that night and classes the next day.
Offer another suggestion
Most of the pressure to say yes isn’t because you want to but it’s because you don’t want to let anyone down, everyone is somewhat of a people pleaser even if you don’t want to admit it. But let’s eliminate that fear. You can always postpone the plan or favor, which lets them know that you are happy to help them out or that you want to spend time with them, but right that second isn’t the best time for you.
“I can’t today but tomorrow I’d love to!” goes a long way on both ends. You prioritize yourself and your schedule, and you let the other person know that you still care about them and want to help and spend time with them.
You are just as important as your to-do list
That sticky note in the bottom corner of your Macbook detailing in all of your assignments and random tasks you need to do is actually not more important than you are. Nothing on that list should override getting a healthy amount of sleep, or making time to eat meals without simultaneously doing homework.
If your to-do list feels like the most important thing in the world, then start scheduling yourself into it. Add something that fills your cup to that list. Maybe hitting the gym, walking your dog, calling your friends or parents, an everything shower, or watching an episode of your favorite show.
You gotta do what you gotta do girl! You are allowed to put yourself first! So treat yourself like you’d treat a friend, set healthy boundaries, offer replacement suggestions, and remember that you are just as important as your to-do list!
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