It was almost a year ago today that I sat at my gate back to Boston from LAX at exactly midnight, and clicked the withdrawal button from my previous university.
I had no idea what my future held. I knew I would continue to go to college, but I knew I was not returning to my school. I told no one. I had an intense gut feeling that this was a journey where I had to take a leap of faith and let the rest follow. I am a strong believer in “everything happens for a reason,” and “everything works out perfectly,” so while it objectively seemed like an insane idea, I was oddly calm.
My mom picked me up from the airport the next morning, and I soon broke the news to her. At first, my parents’ shock and discontent made me second-guess my decision. I began to think that maybe this was a spur of the moment decision, and that I should just stay the course and graduate. It was only a matter of three more years, right? I felt guilty for unloading this massive amount of stress onto our family, and our financial situation. I knew there were a lot of benefits to the school I was going to, and I felt ungrateful for wanting more.
I was already extremely privileged to be going to college, when my mom was a first-generation student, and took my education extremely seriously my entire life. However, I had been deliberating this decision since October, not even a full month into my freshman year. I quickly realized it was the right decision for me, even though it was an extremely difficult decision.
I had gotten accepted to UMass Amherst my senior year of high school, and I was almost going to go, but last minute I decided to switch my decision. With the help of the incredible transfer advisors here, I was able to submit my application past the deadline, and within a few weeks, I got my acceptance letter. I was so grateful, and that day I felt the pieces of this intricate puzzle coming together. I had been accepted into the Honors College as well, and something I loved about UMass was their honors program, so that solidified my decision to enroll, and embark on my new journey.
Arriving on campus in September was a complete culture shock that I was not prepared for. I thought the transition would be so simple. I am from Massachusetts, I had visited the campus multiple times, and I felt like it was not too far out of my comfort zone. However, going from a community of 3,000 students and a campus that was the size of a city block, to 40,000 students and a huge campus, proved to be difficult to adjust to. I was anxious about meeting people and finding my place in such a large space with an overwhelming amount of choices to pursue.
I had to radically change my time management skills and learn to reach out to my support system at UMass (professors and advisors) because I realized I was essentially just a number here, due to the population size and class sizes. Regardless, I instantly fell in love with the community of this school. I remember the pure surprise of how friendly everyone was when they were all strangers. My roommate and floormates were so welcoming, and my professors were so supportive and caring. People on campus would give me compliments in passing, and each day I grew increasingly fond of the culture here. I was not used to such a welcoming environment, and it felt euphoric to feel like I finally belonged somewhere.
I am an extrovert, and I adored seeing the campus so full and lively at every time of the day. At my previous university, I would go home every weekend because the campus became desolate the second classes were dismissed on Friday. Much to my loving parents’ dismay, I did not come home much anymore, because I was so immersed in all that UMass had to offer. Some of the first student organizations I joined included the Massachusetts Daily Collegian, Her Campus, UMass Ski n’ Board, and UMass Fashion Organization. All these clubs made me feel at home and gave me a purpose outside my student life. I met true lifelong friends that are going to be with me all summer, and abroad with me in the fall.
I truly realized for the first time what college is all about, and I have my willpower, determination, and the humans of UMass to be forever grateful to. My heart is full, and my spirit is beaming. It was not just “three years.” It is the most formational years of my life, and knowing I am making the most of them is incredibly special to think about. To incoming transfer students: take a leap of faith, step outside of your comfort zone, and follow whatever passions you have. This campus holds a space for everyone.
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