At the very beginning of quarantine, one of my comfort pastimes was watching TED Talks. I watched ones that explored the topics of mental health and forming positive habits. My new hobby gave me the illusion of improving myself and maintaining control during the start of the pandemic, but I did have quite a few takeaways from the educational conversations. One of the most memorable videos was one given by Frederik Imbo about how not to take things personally. Before watching this TED Talk, I don’t think I would have considered myself as someone who took things personally, but through watching the video I found myself agreeing with the situations he provided. But I wondered, why do I keep feeling this way? How do I stop?
- Shift Your Perspective
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Shift Your Perspective to look at the situation as a whole in order to visualize the other person’s intention and give yourself a pep talk to remind yourself that people will not always agree with you, but that does not belittle your opinions, thoughts, or feelings.
- Own Your Shortcomings
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Own Your Shortcomings because people will pinpoint your faults, which do hold a degree of truth, but remember to give yourself empathy because all humans are imperfect. We all have positive and negative qualities that encompass our unique personalities and manners, but when learning to not take other people’s comments, habits, or criticisms personally, allows us to evaluate our own mistakes and understand why others reacted the way they did.
Obviously, these strategies are easier said than done, but there is power in learning these tactics. Not taking things personally has improved my overall well-being when it comes to my emotional health and the relationships in my life. I have found a new level of confidence because not taking things personally has allowed me to maintain my beliefs, values, and my self-worth while appreciating someone else’s. I have given myself the power to no longer let others determine the value of myself.
Side note: I think it’s also important to note that not taking things personally should be used for smaller, infrequent occurrences, because if someone is continually degrading your opinions or habits then a deeper discussion needs to be addressed.
