Trigger warning: this article contains mentions of suicide, racism, and family trauma.
Recently, I asked my mom if I can go see a therapist, and the first thing she did was start yelling at me, asking me if I am crazy, and telling me that going to therapy is not necessary and a waste of money. This reaction was not surprising to me due to the mental illness stigma that is deeply rooted in Asian culture.
If you go search for news relating to young adults and teenagers in Vietnam media, you would see a number of articles talking about students committing suicide due to family pressure. I think a thing that most Asian students can relate to is the pressure to be perfect and achieve academic greatness in the name of making our families proud. Asian parents put a lot of emphasis on their children to collect achievements, and in many cases, use their kids like trophies to brag and flaunt. Therefore, Asian kids feel the need to please their parents and live up to their expectations, pushing themselves and forgetting to take care of themselves. There are many cases of students being so wrapped up in studying that they forget to socialize and make friends, which for international students, can cause them to feel lonely in a strange and new environment far away from home. This is one of the sources that affect Asian/Asian American mental health.
The second source is strong tradition and family values. In Asian culture, there is a strong emphasis on taking care of one’s family. The ability to be able to provide for your family holds a lot of meaning and pride. It seems that mental illness in Asian culture is seen “incorrectly – as taking away a person’s ability to care for others. For that reason, it is seen as taking away someone’s identity or purpose. It’s the ultimate form of shame.”
The third source is the act of balancing the two different cultures. This one applies to Asian American and international students. Asian American children are expected to respect and follow the culture and values of their home country while growing up in American culture. For international students, like myself, my perspective and values have been greatly influenced and have changed as I continue to live in America. Due to the cultural gap, it is hard to communicate with parents about a lot of ideas and values that are fairly different from one another. I sometimes find it difficult to explain and talk to my mom about certain things because our views are radically different. These differences can also lead to a struggle with identity, balancing two different cultures and values, not knowing which side to take and which one fits you.
The fourth source is racial discrimination. Due to COVID-19, Asian hate crimes have risen and are at an all time high. Discrimination against Asians has always been a thing; COVID-19 just gave people a reason to further push the discrimination.
Research by The National Latino and Asian American Study found that only 8.6% of Asian Americans sought out mental health services compared to 18% of the general U.S population. There are many deterrents that prevent the Asian community from seeking mental health help.
First is the taboo surrounding the discussion of mental health. There is this negative connotation that if you talk to or need a therapist in an Asian country, people would think that you are crazy or a lunatic. Also due to the cultural responsibility of keeping face for your family and not seeming incapable of providing for your family and handling academic responsibilities, the Asian community tends to dismiss or neglect their mental illnesses.
The second deterrent is the parent’s lack of mental health knowledge and the lack of resources. Mental health has not been a prominent topic in many Asian countries until recently, which created a huge hole in awareness for mental health. The lack of mental health professionals can be very hard for people to find the resources and help that they need.
The third thing is avoiding causing any worries for their family. A lot of children tend to not talk about their mental health issues with their families because they do not want to make them worry.
The fourth thing is that therapy is expensive. Most of the time, parents will think that it is a waste of money to “pay someone to talk to you,” which only add to the gap in mental health resources; if people won’t pay for them, there is no need to have one.
If you are wondering what happened after my mom screamed at me, well, I have some good news for you. My mom took some time to talk to people, and they said that it’s a good thing that I am actively seeking therapy and convinced her that I am not crazy. This made her more open to the idea and gave me permission to go see a therapist.
Mental health is an important thing, and no matter what your background or culture, it should not be a barrier that prevents you from seeking the help you need.
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets!