Getting surgery sucks. My first knee surgery was a brutal awakening: I was in extreme pain, sidelined from basketball, and for the first time, my mental health was suffering. At least then, I was naive enough to not spend prior weeks dreading what was to come.
My surgery held strong for seven years, but after a recent setback, it’s time to undergo the process again. Unfortunately, this time I know exactly what lies ahead of me.
As the end of the semester grows closer, surgery lingers over my head more and more. I’ve spent the cold months in Connecticut longing for the days of high UV index and beach trips, but I’d be lying if I said that my thoughts of this summer aren’t directly associated with anxiety.
Studies from the National Library of Medicine share that 37% of surgical patients face preoperative anxiety, and 23% of them will encounter postoperative depression. These statistics are frequently on my mind. I know that much of what happens this year will be beyond my control, but what I can cling to is my mindset. I’m choosing to find every silver lining and let optimism guide me through recovery. It will undoubtedly be hard, but I’m the only one who will determine how this summer is lived and remembered.
Luckily, I was able to secure my dream summer internship in social media marketing. I’ll even get to work remote, which will be crucial when I can’t walk or dive. I plan to take full advantage of the remote lifestyle, and spend as much time outside as possible. I can already picture it: sitting on my deck with my laptop, simultaneously working on my assignments and my tan. It also helps that I’m incredibly passionate about what I do. Throwing myself into work will be a great distraction from the post-surgery frustrations.
I’ll also have the ability to create my own schedule, so I can give myself grace. In recovery, some days are easier than others, so I’ll listen to myself and work accordingly. I don’t know if I would’ve prioritized slowing down without being forced to, and I can be grateful for that.
I’ve actually spent the last three summers working at a sleep-away camp. Since graduating high school, I haven’t spent a summer at home, or had any time for my family and friends. I loved my time at camp, and I will truly miss it. But I’m excited to experience the things that I’ve sacrificed in the past. Spontaneous dinners with friends, celebrating my brother’s birthday, watching WNBA games with my parents — none of these have been possible. Knowing that I get to be present in everyone’s lives gives me something else to look forward to.
Right after surgery, I’ll be splitting my time between my bed and the couch. I’m already drafting the extensive list of books and movies that I want to finish this summer. I don’t know the next time I’ll have an excuse to bed-rot for months, so I’m holding myself to keeping the boredom complaints at a minimum.
As an English and communication major, I’m in a constant state of burnout from the sheer amount of course readings. This semester, I’m assigned 19 novels, so I’ve definitely been reading, but I can’t remember the last time I picked up something for pleasure. I’m hopeful that with some forced downtime, I’ll reconnect with the hobbies I love.
I’m in a similar relationship with writing. While I have no shortage of research papers and literary analyses, creative writing remains on the back burner. Even with an internship and a lengthy to-be-read list, this summer will bring more free time than I’ve seen in a long time. Fortunately, there’s nothing that I long for as much as more time! This summer, I want to dive head first into working on the first draft of a feature-length script.
This injury dates back to second grade — a rec soccer collision that I never expected would haunt me through adulthood. I’ve now spent two thirds of my life battling with my knee, but surgery gives me a fresh start. It’s frustrating to build from the ground up, but the ability to rehabilitate myself back to strength is a privilege that I understand much more now than I did before.
I learned early on to never take my health for granted, but this reminder is more meaningful with each setback. Rehab has given me a greater appreciation for my body and mind, and has shown me my highest levels of capability.
Pre-surgery anxiety still taunts me, but I’m content with the plans I’ve put in place. This will likely be more of an emotional battle than a physical one, and now that I know what to expect, I understand how to prepare. I’ve lived through this before, so I can do it again! It might not be the summer I envisioned, but I’m learning to take it as it comes.