Recently, my friends and I started to realize that we have a problem where we objectify each other. We look at each other in our skinny jeans and crop tops or our tight athleisure, and comment on each other’s bodies. We say things like “wow, you look so skinny” “your body looks incredible” or “did you lose weight” while staring at each other’s stomachs or full bodies. We also developed this bad habit into an even worse habit where we start to look at other girls, and whisper quietly while they walk by like, “wow, she is so tiny, she looks so good.”At first, I think my friends and I were using looking at each other and other girls as motivation. We thought it would be that little bit of encouragement to go to the gym or skip the mac and cheese and eat a salad. Then we started to realize that the comments were happening way too often. Constantly looking at other girls and each other, was not okay, and was slowly destroying our self esteems. We were looking at ourselves in a negative way and comparing ourselves. All the time. It was an everyday goal to be one thing: skinny.
It got to the point where some of us started to get visibly upset about the way we looked. It started with one of us saying that they couldn’t wear something because it made them look “fat”. Then it lead to them standing in front the mirror, shaking their legs, telling us how “big” they were and literally showing us what she was self-conscious about. Then it got to crying about how they are ashamed in how they look. All of the compliments that we were giving each other and other people were backfiring. It wasn’t empowering or encouraging, it was heartbreaking and upsetting to watch my beautiful friends talk about themselves like that.
After realizing that we had this issue, we discovered that the root of the problem was the way we were describing people and each other. Using the word “skinny” directly comments on someone’s weight. We were using that word as a compliment, which honestly, it’s not.
Synonyms to ‘skinny” are fragile, weak, and frail. That is not something you should want to be describing yourself or anyone as.
We decided to completely omit the word skinny from our language. Collectively, we decided that we should start calling each other “strong” “healthy” and “fit” because those words are powerful and motivating. We decided we should be using words like that compliment each other on how we are athletic and muscular. This is the first step that we can take into making ourselves body positive. It is hard when there are so many people that don’t understand the effects of their almost backhanded compliments like “I didn’t recognize you, you look so skinny.” Next time you want to tell someone they look good, say something more body positive and not just throwing the dreaded “s” word out there because it can be more hurtful than you could think.