It’s hard to admit, and a bit embarrassing, but there have been times where my screen time has reached double digits. That Sunday notification on my phone detailing the change in my screen time started becoming another part of what we love to call the “Sunday scaries.” Each time the summary would come in, I had spent an irreparable amount of time on TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat, each having reached the double-digit mark or were close to that point.
So much of our lives is documented on and consumed by social media, from photo dumps of our recent activities on Instagram to videos where we feel confident or share a story on TikTok. Every photo I took was with the intention of posting it somewhere, like an itch I needed to scratch by posting it on some form of social media. Every free moment I had throughout the day, I would spend endlessly and aimlessly scrolling.
I knew I needed to detach myself from this social media centered mindset, but I felt terrified. Nonetheless, I took the plunge (after some convincing) and was able to commit to deleting Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat for a week and a half. Here’s how it went.
The DAY OF
I had a lot of hesitation committing to the idea of deleting Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat because I thought I would become isolated. The day of the deletion, I was so anxious about not being able to share my life with others and to be a witness to others’ lives. I felt a sort of spotlight effect, thinking others would notice my absence, think I was a hermit of some kind, and unfollow me, which seemed to be the end of my world.
I had created a timeline of when I would be social media free and I realized it would be during Halloween. If I’m being honest, I almost backed out entirely. The idea of not being able to post my costume for the world to see? Jarring. Even my roommate was shocked that I was deleting everything amidst Halloween celebrations, which was probably one of the clearest signs that I needed to make this effort: my persona had become associated with an obsession with social media.
After some procrastination, I finally deleted the apps, dramatically turned my phone over on my desk, and started doing work, which in reality, was just an effort to distract myself from the fact that they had been deleted.
The Social Media Free Week
I knew that I’d have a hard time remembering that those apps were gone and others had filled their place on my home screen. I can’t tell you the number of times I went to open Instagram and instead was met with the home screen of my Sudoku app. Thankfully, this turned out to be a good thing throughout the week: instead of scrolling on social media, I would use that time to do the brain exercise that is Sudoku. Unfortunately, my screen time on this app did increase drastically, but I took this as a reflection of the total number of hours within a week I would have spent, and have been spending, on social media.
I had, however, started to regret this detox once I thought about my TikTok drafts being gone and not being able to post photos and videos on my Instagram. I felt like it may have mean that I had nothing to show for on social media compared to others. This focus on the beaming spotlight I felt on me had started to, as I’m sure it sounds to you, sound ridiculous. We have been taught to focus on the memories we make, not on documenting them for others. So, I started taking photos without the total intention of posting them, and the ease I felt over not rushing to post them was amazing. They were mine and I had those memories all to myself.
Thankfully, this personal experiment was conveniently timed during one of my busiest academic weeks this semester. I had written down everything I would need to get done before the weekend and thought there was no way I would complete it all in time. In the end, I was able to get all of my work done before I expected to have finished and I give full credit to my lack of social media at the time. Who would’ve thought that committing more time to your HuskyCT and less time to your social media would work out so well?
I had started to feel incredibly proud of myself for committing to the detox. I was filled with such anxiety and dread about committing to this, only to realize it was never as big of a deal as I made it. I was alive and breathing, all without social media, and over time, I forgot about its absence.
I had thought social media was the end-all be-all of having a social life, but there I was, surrounded by all of my loved ones who don’t care whether I have social media or not. That is all that mattered.
The Redownload
After the week and a half was over, I redownloaded everything and dove back into my social media. I thought I’d feel relieved to be back on my accounts considering all the anxiety I felt prior, but I felt quite neutral. I was underwhelmed by what I thought were thrilling updates of people’s lives that I was missing out on. Maybe I didn’t need social media to feel connected after all, or maybe my connection wasn’t there to begin with. I mean, do I really need to know what people I only know by their Instagram handle have been up to? Do I really know all of the people I felt that preemptive separation anxiety from?
I had immediately gone back into a pattern of constant social media checking and doom scrolling, probably within 15 minutes of having it all back on my phone. I was honestly disappointed in myself. I had gone from being on a high and realizing I can function without depending on social media to then being completely consumed by it all over again. It seemed as though I had a much lighter problem on my hands prior to deleting social media than I did now.
The consumption that overcame me started to affect me physically. I went from prioritizing my eight hours of sleeping to barely fitting in six. This made me groggy and exhausted, and caused me to put less effort into my work because I couldn’t muster up enough brain power. Then, the hours on end I had spent staring at a screen caused me to get sharp eye pains throughout the day, which I had never experienced before.
This sharp jump back into social media accentuated my reliance on social media and I had to start limiting my activity on it. Each time I pick up my phone, I hesitate to open social media because I know I will stay on it for longer than I should. When I realize I’ve fallen down its rabbit hole, I quickly close out of it entirely and put my phone down. This realization has opened my eyes to what social media can do to my brain, body, and even just my academic work. That is what I need to start prioritizing above all else.
I know many young adults struggle with dependence on social media, whether they recognize it or not. Starting the journey of detaching yourself from social media will only make you more committed to valuing your life and your time, and I would hate to see this value drift. If the thought of replicating this trial scares you, maybe it’s an even bigger sign to do so.