As a young teenager who had very few friends, Dan and Phil were my safe space. This is not a unique experience for those who were involved in this fandom, as many of us were social outcasts who were always looking for outlets to express our true selves without being shamed for it. As a 14-year-old girl who was both queer and neurodivergent, Dan and Phil was just one of the things that brought me solace in my day-to-day life. They were just the right amount of weird that resonated with so many people like myself, and their content was a form of escapism for me at times.
If you haven’t heard the news recently, Dan and Phil publicly announced that not only are they in a relationship, but they have been since 2009, the year they met. This announcement came after over a decade of public speculation from their fans about the status of their relationship. There was a very prominent “shipping” culture among members of the Dan and Phil fandom that primarily on platforms like Tumblr and X, where many young fans would make fanart, write and publish fanfiction, and even make entire threads of theories with “evidence” that suggested that the two were romantically involved. It was this public speculation that made the two very uncomfortable with sharing any aspect of their personal lives for a very long time, and this announcement marks a brand new era for them.
i’m so happy for dan and phil
After reading so much of the public’s response to this announcement, I’ve come away from it with many thoughts of my own. One of the main things I heard people say was “we already knew this,” basically claiming that they were “right all along” about Dan and Phil’s relationship status, minimizing the true meaning of such an announcement.
I believe statements like this are so incredibly diminishing to the inner battles that Dan and Phil have been going through as they not only navigated their personal, private relationship, but how it was to fit into their very public personas as Internet personalities. In the past, Dan has been very outspoken about his battles with depression and self-hatred that came with figuring out his sexuality, meaning that announcements like his coming out video in 2019 and this latest one with Phil certainly weren’t cakewalks. Many people who have not struggled with those things underestimate the real toll it takes on a person, and steps like this that allow someone to finally accept themselves for who they are can be monumental in someone’s healing journey.
For Dan, Phil was an instrumental part in that. In the video, Dan refers to Phil as being his “safe space,” someone he could turn to when he was really struggling and lean on for emotional support. Details like this make fans like myself so happy to hear. But even as happy as we may be, I feel like we often forget one very important thing:
We are not entitled to information about Dan and Phil’s personal lives, and we never have been.
Whatever information they choose to share with us is what they choose. It has been mentioned numerous times that one of the main reasons why they stayed so private for so long about their relationship was because of the intense fan speculation. It was so invasive and inappropriate that some people felt like they were entitled to know such private information about two people they didn’t know. Of course, keeping in mind most of the people sharing this information were kids at the time, and they did stress in their video that they don’t want any of their fans who participated in this shipping culture to feel any guilt for things they did as kids with developing frontal lobes. However, it is still important we be mindful of this going forward.
a new era awaits
Along with the announcing of their relationship, Dan and Phil have launched a podcast, fittingly titled “Hard Launch” in which they have said they will share things that they have never shared before, which makes me and millions of others so proud. They also recently posted a video where they went all around London and experienced different things for their 16th anniversary, which gives us a sneak peek into the type of content we may get to see in the future.
Overall, it’s very clear to see that they are the happiest they have been in a very long time. They can finally be their authentic selves online without fear or judgment. Their audience has grown up and matured, and we get to be along the ride with them for whatever they decide to share with us next. Because it’s their choice, not ours. Just getting to see them happy is absolutely fine with me.