Studying abroad changes you in ways you can never return to. As I walk on Guad to my next class (also, where did Dollar Slice go?), I cannot articulate how it feels to be back to normal life. It’s like I am a puzzle piece that fits, but only after compressed back into place.
Living in Barcelona taught me that exposure therapy really is the only way to grow. I pushed myself to do things I never imagined I would: attended Milan Fashion Week, rode trams in Lisbon, danced at the famous jazz bar in Paris, saw Big Ben, braved the freezing cold Christmas Markets in Vienna (barely). I solo-travelled. I navigated new cities. I attended a Coldplay Concert. I prayed in Mosques in Bosnia. I surfed at sunrise before my 9 am class. Even though all of these experiences have changed me for the better, I will hold the people I met even closer to my heart.
From Norway to Turkiye to New Zealand, I am so proud to be able to say that I have friends from all around the world. I had the honor of understanding other cultures’ ways of living and perspectives, and to truly connect with them, too. As someone who has only lived in America, I found the rumor to be true: we tend to live in a bubble. So going abroad was such a bubble-popping awakening that I had so much to learn.
What also made studying abroad truly worth it, though, was the self-growth it demanded. It was such a beautiful feeling to be completely on your own, and to have the privilege of staring anew and becoming who you choose to be. As someone who carries personal struggles, putting yourself in a place where you have no choice but to figure things out by yourself is incredibly rewarding. My heart was never heavy when walking the streets of Paris or on my daily trip for Brazilian Cheese Bread because I felt so much more at peace. I also think that moving abroad really taught me that while I have a future for myself back in Texas, Barcelona will hold a part of me as well; it was somewhere that made me feel safe and calm. I also did so many things on my own because, although I loved being with my friends, it became more important than ever for me to do things for myself and by myself.
That’s not to say that everything was easy just because it was rewarding. There were days I would feel the burden of family emergencies and being so far away. I felt the burden of financial independence, declining health, time zones, and new rhythms of life. There were days, more often than not, when I would desperately scour for Asian food and spices. To be fully transparent, studying abroad didn’t fix everything in my life, and it didn’t magically make things easier. But it gave me clarity, confidence, and a version of myself I didn’t know I was capable of becoming. Coming home has been a mournful adjustment- but I wouldn’t trade the discomfort of returning for the comfort of never having left.
This ramble is meant to urge you to step outside of your body sometimes, to live in discomfort, and to aspire bigger than what’s possible. It just may change your life!