Before I start, I just want to say that this is a very personal piece for me and it is something that I am immensely proud of myself for working on.
In high school, I faced a multitude of setbacks. Coming from a public middle school to one of the most prestigious prep schools in the country, I was not prepared for the massive amount of studying and working I would be expected to do. I had a nasty breakup freshman year of high school which caused me to be down for awhile and my grades suffered as a result. Unfortunately, even after I recovered from it my grades were still much lower than any I had received previously. Then, the self-loathing set it. My mental health as well as my own view of myself was terrible. I was anxious, tired, and always putting myself down. This went on for a while. I always compared myself to people I thought had it better. I spent massive quantities of time on social media looking at photos of the girls I thought had it all. Finally, the summer before my junior year of high school I got to spend some time with my friends. We had a group session about how we felt high school was going and I broke down in tears. I was ashamed of my academic performance, my success in school, and my overall self. Instead of being shocked, my friends all hugged me and told me it was going to be okay. That was the first time in two years I really felt like I could relax. I spent the summer preparing for the upcoming year as well as taking some serious time to work on myself.
Although I continued for part of high school to still be hard on myself, I began to become more compassionate with myself. When I deleted my social media and attended tutoring my grades started to go up. It’s been a long journey and I still am working on being kind to myself but I am glad for finally not being so hard on myself.