I think my self-confidence reached an all-time low a few months ago. Summer was approaching, and I had gone to the mall to look for pieces to build my summer wardrobe.
I cried that day. A lot.
I hated the way my body looked in everything. What was supposed to be a fun trip to the mall made me want to do nothing but curl myself in a ball. All I wanted was to go home. Looking in another badly lit dressing room was the last thing I wanted to do. All I could see was the imperfections– how a dress highlighted cellulite in my legs, pants that accentuated the wrong parts of my stomach tops that made my shoulders too big….
On the way home, I remember thinking how much I just wanted to feel good about myself. How much I never wanted to cry in a dressing room again. How do girls not cry in dressing rooms? How do they walk the street without worrying about what they look like to others?
I told myself that this would be my last summer crying about the way I looked. It was my last teenage summer after all, and I didn’t want to look back at it 10 years from now wishing I had just worn the two-piece.
So I made a promise to myself. I would walk with my head higher. I would wear things that made ME feel good.
And now the summer is gone. Fall is here, I had the realization that I’m not dreading it. I’m not dreading going to the mall or looking for clothes– I’m actually excited about it. I’m not worrying about all the little imperfections anymore– just the fact that I feel good.
So, if you find yourself relating to anything I just said, here are some of the things I did to help me feel more confident:
- Stop Following Influencers With Body Types that Make You Feel Bad About Yourself. Instead, try Following People with Your Own Body Type.
This was my first, very small step, toward gaining confidence. So much of my insecurities stemmed from constantly comparing myself to others I see online. I unfollowed everyone that made me feel like sh*t. Instead, I began following people with my body type and others that embrace body positivity like Sixtine Rouyre and Grace Todd.
- Stop Weighing Yourself.
This was a really hard one for me. I was always weighing myself, and judging myself for every ounce lost or gained. I put so much power into numbers that don’t mean anything. Because those numbers ARE useless, and they shouldn’t dictate how you view yourself. Once I stopped weighing myself, a huge weight (no pun intended) was lifted off my chest. I didn’t realize how much value I put into what I saw on the scale. Now, instead of a scale, I focus on how my clothes fit my body.
- Find Clothes that Make YOU Feel Confident.
Basically–if you like it, WEAR IT. Don’t say things like “I’ll dress like this when I get skinny.” Why wait to wear things that make you happy and excited right now? The important thing is to find clothes that make you feel good. I feel my most confident in low cut tops and wide leg pants. My best friend feels the most confident in shorts and a sweatshirt. The point is, loving the clothes you’re in helps you hold your head up higher. A good outfit can literally make or break your day. Take the time to find clothes you love.
- Stop Feeling Bad About Enjoying Food
Honestly, another big part of me finding happiness and confidence comes from me YOLOing through life. I want another slice of cake? Yolo. I want to try out a new restaurant? Yolo. Clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. You shouldn’t have to fit your life around trying to stay a certain size. From my experience, constantly thinking about food is so so so exhausting. Just be kinder to yourself and enjoy the bread.
5. Realize you’re never going to be as young as you are right now.
I was talking with my mom recently, and she said her biggest regret is always “feeling ugly” when she was young. She looks at pictures of her younger self and remembers all the self-doubt that filled her head. “It’s ridiculous,” she told me. “What I would give to look like that now.”
I don’t want that to be me. I want to live and get old knowing I cherished every bit of my youth– the life I’m living right now. So, I’m going to wear the dress that shows off the cellulite. I’m going to order dessert at the restaurant. I’m going to go out on dates– and I’m going to feel good about doing it. Life is too short to be crying in dressing rooms. It is too short to not love yourself.