In life, we meet new people every day, but forming genuine friendships along the way can be rare. Friendship matters because it allows us to share qualities and experiences that reflect who we are as people. You spend most of your time laughing together, crying together, navigating the trials and tribulations of growing up, and supporting each other emotionally. A romantic relationship may offer intimacy and passion, but platonic friendships can give you a deeper sense of purpose.
I came to college hoping to find a community. I just so happened to find my best friends—a group of girls who lived on the same dorm floor as me. What started as casual dinners at the dining hall quickly turned into late-night ice cream runs and bawling our eyes out over cheesy rom-coms in our twin XL beds. It was the sisterhood I had always craved, and I never would have believed you if you had told me we wouldn’t still be friends today.
Believing our friendship would last forever, we all signed a lease together, hoping to strengthen our bond. But, that’s when things started to fall apart. Without getting into specifics, I ultimately learned the hard truth: friendships come and go. I just never imagined my best friends would be the ones I’d have to let go.
Letting go of friendships comes with its consequences, but learning to let people go and accepting that it is okay to outgrow others is an important part of life.
Over time, I’ve learned to be at peace with myself and to understand that I don’t have to experience everything in life alongside someone else. In the end, we have to do what’s in our own best interest. When someone constantly depends on you, it can start to feel like a burden and can often lead to feeling taken advantage of. I eventually realized I couldn’t keep holding onto friendships that were holding me back from becoming the person I was meant to be. Learning to let people go, and accepting that it’s okay to outgrow others, is an important part of life. However, letting go of friendships comes with its consequences.
Growing up means learning to move past the challenges life throws at you. Leaving friendships behind that bring you down or hold you back from new opportunities is okay. And yes, it’s entirely possible to grieve the end of a platonic relationship. You might go through all the stages of grief—feeling guilty for walking away, angry at how their actions held you back, sad about how things ended, or selfish for finally putting yourself first. But if letting go of a friendship is what’s best for you, then do it.
Always choose yourself. You are the one who will always show up for yourself, not them. I wish I had known sooner that it’s okay to grieve platonic relationships just like you would romantic ones. But I’ve also learned not to let that grief hold me back from finding my true purpose. Friendships are a beautiful part of life, but life is so much more than that. Learn to embrace your individuality and the path you’re creating for yourself. Grieve if you need to, but remember, the world will keep spinning.