This past week, turning 20 hit me much harder than I ever expected. I spent my first few semesters in college following this plan that I had made for myself to end up where I was supposed to be. But somewhere along the way, between switching my focus away from Law School prep, getting a job in a lab, and navigating all the usual caveats of college life, I realized that life was never meant to be a straight line.
Turning 20 made me realize that growth doesn’t require having everything figured out. Instead, it just requires choosing yourself, even when the road ahead is entirely uncertain. These are three things I’ve learned as I step into this new decade with more clarity and a lot more trust in who I’m becoming.
- You Don’t Have to Stick to the Plan You Made at 18
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I spent years of my life, starting long before my first days at UT, making this plan in my head, revolving around going to law school. At some point during my summer law firm internship, I realized that maybe that was no longer what I wanted out of my life. I am so lucky to have been exposed to other things that I find more fulfilling before actually studying for and taking the dreaded LSAT. I realized that all of this learning and growing is part of what college (and honestly, your young adult life) is for. My 18-year-old self may be appalled at the academic decisions I have made, but 20-year-old me understands how that is the whole point.
- Passion Feels Different from Pressure
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Coming out of high school, my plans were definitely bogged down by pressure from my small hometown and my teachers. There was always this expectation that I needed to go out and be something, and I felt this pressure not to waste what I was good at. At some point, I realized that maybe I didn’t have to do something just because I knew I would be good at it. I found true passion for other things, outside of those future plans I curated, and it couldn’t be more different.
- You Deserve to be Proud of Yourself Now
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At 20 years old, it’s easy to think that life hasn’t really started yet, but, for the sake of my mental health, I’ve been trying to find things to be proud of now. I always had this belief that I could never be proud of the things I had done or who I had become until I had reached my “end goal.”
Recently, I’ve realized that the things I’m doing right now warrant my happiness. I know how hard I have worked to be where I am, and though I don’t love everything that’s happened, I have found that it helps to make an effort to be proud of myself.
Out of all of these, my biggest take-home lesson is to not take everything too seriously. I have a habit of getting caught up in all the small details, but sometimes, it’s nice to just sit back and enjoy college and enjoy your twenties. So, here’s to twenty years!