I already know how this sounds. “Woke.” Annoying. Overly sensitive. Ruining the vibe. But here’s the thing: if the vibe depends on ignoring obvious hypocrisy, then yeah… I’m going to ruin it because a lot of the things we treat as normal, funny, or harmless are actually just recycled bigotry with a great PR team. So here it is. My official, woke, loud, list of things I don’t tolerate—and why you maybe shouldn’t either.
- Hating on Astrology (But Not Questioning Religion?)
In my opinion, men who hate on women for liking astrology are rarely anti-belief across the board. They’re anti-women, having beliefs they don’t control. Astrology, Wicca, paganism—these are some of the only major spiritual spaces where women aren’t inherently subordinated. There’s no built-in hierarchy telling them to be quieter, smaller, and more obedient. And suddenly that’s the thing we’re all up in arms about? Let’s be serious. There are entire religious systems with misogyny baked directly into their core texts. And yet the loudest critics of astrology somehow never have the same energy for those. Are there valid critiques of astrology? Obviously, but I feel if you only care when women are the ones participating, you’re not being the intellectual you think you are.
2. Making Fun of Trump’s Incontinence
There are approximately one bajillion things to criticize about Donald Trump. We are not lacking material. So why are we making diaper jokes? I will be the first person to drag that man and the last to defend him. But if the rumors about incontinence are true, I believe that’s not a moral failing. That’s a medical condition and a disability. When you mock that, you’re not just mocking him! I feel that you’re mocking every person who deals with incontinence, quietly, privately, and without being a public villain. It’s lazy. It’s ableist. And honestly, it’s beneath the level of critique he actually deserves.
3. Saying “B*tch” Like It’s Nothing
This one is tricky, I’ll admit. Because yes, I say it. We all have a “hey b*tch” moment. However, there’s a difference between reclaiming a word and just… casually recycling it. Men have used “b*tch” to degrade women for centuries. It’s not a neutral word. It never has been. When it’s used playfully, consensually, between people who understand the tone? Fine, whatever, but when it’s used aggressively – “you’re being a b*tch” – it hits differently. It lands in the same place as other slurs meant to shrink someone down. And I’m going to say it: since men have proven to be incapable of using it respectfully, I don’t think they should be using it at all.
4. Helen Keller Jokes
If your sense of humor rides on “what if a disabled person couldn’t possibly be accomplished,” I have bad news. You are not edgy. I think that you’re just doing textbook ableism with a punchline. Every time I open Hinge, a man is holding a fish (why is it always a fish?), talking about how he’s “convinced that Helen Keller was a fraud.” And when you ask why, the answer is always the same: “There’s no way someone like that could do all that.” This is just disbelief in disabled people’s capabilities. That’s it. That’s the joke. Groundbreaking.
5. Brands Having Personalities Online
In the 2010s, Twitter brand clapbacks were everywhere. That whole “haha Wendy’s is savage” era. Now it’s evolved into TikTok comments which feels way more insidious. Sue me, but I don’t think it’s acceptable for massive corporations to have quirky, sassy, hyper-relatable online personalities when their real-world impact looks completely different. I truly don’t think a company like McDonald’s in my comments trying to be funny is ever appropriate. This is a corporation with a long list of issues, including unethically low wages, tax avoidance, massive contributions to deforestation, public health crises, and food deserts, and providing free meals to the IDF, and being in my comments, trying to be quirky? Be serious. And it’s not just them.
I’ve seen the Flo app in comment sections being silly and personable. This is a period tracking app run by cis men that has literally been exposed for intentionally leaking deeply sensitive user data—pregnancy info, sexual activity—with social media platforms and tech companies. That’s not a “bestie.” That’s a company that violated people’s privacy at a massive scale during the era of the Roe V. Wade overturn, nonetheless. And then I saw Hostess Snacks commenting on a video. And sure, compared to others, they might seem relatively harmless for their size. But that’s almost beside the point.
Why does a billion-dollar brand need to be in the comments at all? These companies have incomprehensibly large marketing budgets, and instead of just using them transparently, they insert themselves into everyday conversations to build trust, seem relatable, and get free advertising, often at the expense of smaller creators who are just trying to exist in that space. You are not talking to a person. You are talking to a company that has studied exactly how to sound like one. And the more we play along with that, I feel that it’s easier to forget who and what we’re actually engaging with.
5. “Men Are the Real Victims of Toxic Masculinity”
I hear this one all the time, and it always almost makes sense. “Yes, men suffer too.”
Correct. But then the conversation shifts, and suddenly men are framed as the main victims of toxic masculinity. Let’s think about what “men aren’t allowed to cry” actually means. Are they banned from crying? When men show emotion, they are called girls, women, pu*sies, sissies. So, the real threat to men may be femininity. If men didn’t see women as lesser, being compared to women wouldn’t be an insult. Which in my opinion means misogyny is the root. Not just a side effect. So yes, toxic masculinity harms men. But I also believe that if you center men as the primary victims without addressing how women are positioned in that system, you’re missing the entire point.
6. Calling NYC “Gritty” But Everywhere Else “Disgusting”
New York is dirty. I say that with love. Trash, rats, roaches, crumbling infrastructure, visible poverty, addiction, mental health crises—it’s all there. And somehow, people romanticize it. It’s “gritty.” It’s “charming.” It’s “real.” But take those exact same conditions and place them in a non-Western city—say, Mumbai—and suddenly it’s “disgusting,” “uncivilized,” “disturbing.” Same issues. Completely different language. And the difference is not actually about sanitation. It’s about what we’ve been taught to see as familiar versus foreign. You don’t have to love either. But the double standard is loud.
So yeah, I’m “that woke”. If noticing patterns like this makes me “too much,” I’m okay with that. Because at a certain point, being easygoing just means letting things slide that shouldn’t. And I’d rather be a little annoying than a little silent.