I believe the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have. You are the only constant for 100% of your life. Of course, friends and family can be there for you, but it’s impossible for anyone to actually be there for every second of your life. From your first breath until your last, you are the only one present for each blink, each thought, and each action.
I think people seem to look past this fact these days, but this fact is so important to acknowledge. You can make your life so much better by simply loving yourself. Of course, it’s way easier said than done, and external factors can negatively impact our lives every day. But your relationship with yourself can help to heal these hardships.
A simple way to demonstrate this is by taking yourself out on a date or taking time to do something you have a passion for. But it also goes deeper than that. For example, a healthy relationship with yourself could be shown through how you choose to perceive things. Show yourself some compassion and choose to see best case scenarios instead of the worst. If you saw one of your best friends stressed about something, wouldn’t you enlighten them with all the positives of the situation? Wouldn’t you want them to look at the glass half full instead of half empty? That’s because you want them to feel lighter; you don’t want someone you care about to be upset. So why don’t we grace ourselves with the same treatment?
I believe we tend to naturally be a lot harder on ourselves. We have all been in a position where we were feeling upset and decided to throw on some sad music, causing that upset feeling to be intensified. But why? Would you let your friend do that? Or would you turn on some upbeat music instead and make them dance around the room with you to cheer up? Show that same love and compassion to yourself.
In my opinion, people overlook the sheer importance of self-love. There seems to be a constant need to have someone else in your life, but they simply can’t be there with you for every step of the way. This is shown through countless love movies or scrolls on social media, where the focus is on having a loving and perfect partner. But only you can be that person for yourself. That is why it’s so important to proactively build trust within yourself and to give yourself the best life you could possibly have.
I think people who trust themselves to make the right decisions in any scenario have a built-in confidence that they will always be taken care of. You don’t have to worry about making decisions you wish you hadn’t because you trust yourself. Self-love should be about nurturing and caring for yourself the same way you would someone else you care about. You wouldn’t put your siblings in a dangerous situation or support them in repeating bad habits; this discipline needs to be given to yourself as well.
I define self-love as the practice of appreciating, accepting, and embracing yourself in every way. It’s forgiving yourself for past mistakes and ensuring your success for the future. You can either be living your life on autopilot and deal with things that happen as they come or start flying the plane and learn that life should be coming from you, not at you.
I’ve personally been in a position, and seen people I care about in a position, wanting to just run away or escape. For example, when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed out and think all the walls are caving in, I have the overwhelming urge to pick up and move my life to a tropical destination. And maybe that is the answer. Maybe that would fix all my problems. But maybe the truth is that things in your mind will follow you everywhere you go, no matter how far you travel. With this knowledge in mind, it’s so important to plant roots for yourself and grow a life you don’t feel the need to escape from.
Although self-love can take many forms, I believe it goes deeper than a simple face mask or self-care night. In my opinion, it also involves respecting yourself and looking deeper inward to build a foundation and understanding of a good relationship. It’s like the saying from Stephan Chbosky, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” So, what if we loved ourselves unconditionally? What if we didn’t make excuses for other people hurting us and instead stood up at the first sign of disrespect? What if the love we have for ourselves runs so deep that we never put ourselves in a position to get hurt? Your relationship with yourself should showcase how others treat you. You should demonstrate to yourself what you deserve, so when someone treats you any less, you don’t accept it.
Love yourself and the world will love you back. You must actively choose to see the beauty in the world. It can get hard in the fog and stress of life, but there is always beauty to admire.
It’s also important to acknowledge that you can’t love someone else the way they deserve until you love yourself. People only try to understand you as much as they reflect and try to understand themselves. Some people look deeply and thoughtfully into others while others keep it at surface level. If you take it upon yourself to look more inward and understand yourself and what makes you sad, happy, or mad, you can then naturally understand other people and their emotions. Another example of this is insecurity. If you find yourself being a very insecure person, it can be taken out of your partner. All signs point towards the importance of embracing and loving yourself, leading to excellence.
So next time you’re being hard on yourself, remember the things you have been through and how much you were there for yourself during those times. Embrace this relationship and build it to the best of your abilities. Some of my favorite ways to do this are going for a walk, meditating, coloring, journaling, reading, and so much more. Practice habits that make you happy and give yourself the same grace as you would a loved one. You are the only person present for your whole entire life, every experience and every thought, embrace this beauty and with self-love, form the best and brightest life you deserve.