As a psych major, but also a hopeless romantic, sometimes I can’t help but wonder why men allow themselves to become so accessible to sexual relations—especially when they barely know the girl. Yes, I know that we’re all young and that now is the time to explore as many options as you like, but I also feel that one should at least have some level of self-respect.
On my Instagram, I made an opinion poll on my story that asked a simple question: Why are some men so easy? I received many explanations but the main ones that left an impression on myself included: “they need validation that they couldn’t receive at home,” “their sex drive overpowers their emotional intelligence,” “insecure,” and “some females make it way too easy.”
These answers offered me a different perspective on why some men sleep with someone so quickly, beginning with the need for validation. At this point in my life, I have noticed how so many guys see the idea of sex as a “playing field” for them and their peers, almost making it a contest of who can reach third base the fastest or who can have sex with the most girls. Almost every day, I overhear conversations as guys argue with one other shouting, “I have more girls on my roster,” “I’ve slept with more girls than you.” To me, this is not something to be proud of but rather serves as cover up for one’s insecurities (e.g. shame, guilt, loneliness, etc.).
I believe another key factor concerning the “easiness” of some men simply stem from lustful behavior. My guy friends tell me all the time, “It’s in our nature to be like this,” “I can’t help it, I’m just a man,” and whenever I hear this, I become so disappointed in the expectations that men hold themselves to. Having a high sex drive is one thing, but I feel like we are all at the age where one can control themselves and make smart decisions based off of critical thought—not just being down bad for sex.
This ultimately leads me to my point on how so many men lose out on the opportunity of having a good woman by their side, instead opting to pick the easiest choice that can fulfill their sexual desires. I’m always hearing how guys want a “respectable woman” or “not someone who is so loose and talks to the entire community,” but when a good woman does come their way, they decide that it’s not what they want.
They say love is blind—but apparently so is self-awareness.