Why are there even so many words to describe the interaction and connection between two people? According to Quora.com: the difference between talking and dating is that, and I quote, “Talking stage is nothing but a stage when the two of you are getting to know each other.” While the Google definition of dating is to “go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).” My friends and I like to call it “a headache.” These are somehow different than being in a relationship. Although while in a relationship, you also do these things.
So, I am wondering what happened to dating meaning keeping your options open and the difference is an established relationship? Or, what ever happened to “going steady” or “seeing someone” and I am wondering why our generation had to ruin romance by making women even more confused about a guys’ intentions than ever before?
I believe there has been so much wasted energy, time, and extreme lack of effort on the man’s end in this so-called “talking stage.” I feel like it eliminates all romantic expectations, assuming one day he’ll choose you and “pop the question.” Except the question is, after acting like a couple, whether he is emotionally vulnerable or stable enough to define “being in a relationship” after essentially already being in one.
I think the worst part about it all is guys get to have even less accountability for their actions in this “talking stage.” People are free to have multiple stages, but God forbid since nothing was established, that the woman also “explores her options” because now she isn’t being loyal or the girlfriend material they were looking for. SO, as I’ve observed, she gets held accountable and he gets to be free by default…again!
Now, I feel like women get to cry over “nothing” because of the emotional and romantic fear of a “man.” They cannot even explain to their girlfriends that they were cheated on, or they are crying over someone they were dating because guess what, “they never dated.”
I think if mutual interest and attraction are established, we could at least give women a date and uphold relationship expectations while “exploring our options,” just with transparency. I feel like, by choice, or not, there becomes accountability in the “talking stage” because it is nothing but heartbreak for the ones who do not ever get out of it. So, for the love of God people, maybe we should try to date and break up so she can at least not feel embarrassed about emotions and energy invested in something that “wasn’t established.” I do not want to turn all of us women into misandrists. To help, I feel like we should try not to ruin romance with present-day novelties.
For my women out there, from my experience, keep those standards high because the only one who is at a loss if they are lowered is you. If you ask, “Why is it all up to the man to establish the relationship?” I say he will have gotten what he wanted just by getting your time and presence, you are the prize, and men have always been the pursuer. I feel like you should try not to let them convince you otherwise to waste your time “talking.” I feel like we should instead try to instead of asking “What are we,” discuss and define your relationship and what works for you by defining your standards. You can talk to anyone, but not everyone should get that emotional access without established interest and undoubtable effort (by your standards of course).