Fall is here. Early sunsets, shedding trees, and frostbite on the tip of our fingers are the new norms with the transitioning seasons. However, with the change in weather comes a huge shift in a lot of people’s mental state. Â
Let me set the scenery, I am in bed scrolling through TikTok and watching many videos discussing how this gloomy weather is causing another gloomy cloud in their mind affecting their emotions. It is actively known as seasonal depression and, if you are chronically online like me, you would see it affects a good chunk of people around you. Â
With that being said, I started to reflect on my life and if I have noticed these changes around me. Yes, I have started to feel more sluggish and isolated with the short sunshine and the elongated night sky. Yet, I always thought it must be “seasonal depression” and everyone around me is battling the same symptoms. Yet, the more I dug deeper into my mentality and well-being, the more I uncovered the truth. What I am feeling is not only seasonal. Â
A key part of having seasonal depression is well…it is seasonal. You experience this state of intense moodiness and anxiety, but it comes and goes with the effects of the time of year. Since I was about 12 years old, I always had a feeling of mental uneasiness such as heightened anxiety, disinterest in being around others, and constant self-isolation. However, after being raised around social media platforms such as Tumblr and Instagram on the rise, I thought I was just going through these depression periods similar to my peers and would just go away as soon as the flowers started to bloom again. That was not the case in my situation and these periods just seemed to last longer and longer before I realized it never really ended. Â
Isolating myself from my friends, endless crying periods followed by dissociation and numbness was my new reality in life and I had no way to cope. They say never believe anything you see online, and I wish that I had followed that rule when exposing my emotions to social media. People online seemed to have these periods of depression and move on like nothing happened which led to me burying my feelings and downplaying my decreasing health.Â
In reality, everyone handles their emotions very differently and we should not try to replicate those experiences. There is no guidebook to total greatness when it comes to mental health, and everyone experiences their battles differently. I learned that you do not need to follow in the path of your peers just because on the outside they seem to be “holding themselves together” when on the inside it could be the exact opposite. Â
Seasonal depression is one hell of a feeling that sometimes seems to never end no matter if it is pouring rain outside or the sun is hiding behind a path of clouds. I cannot guarantee that it will get better before it gets worse, but I do know that you are never alone. Â