“If you could have any superpower, what would you want to have?” This has always been one of my least favorite questions, not only because I thought it was uncreative, but also because I never had an answer, and if I did, it would just be something generic, like “speed,” “invisibility,” and so on. However, as much as I am in denial, seeing everyone in my hall slowly pack their items week by week, there’s no denying that my freshman year of college is coming to an end. This realization is why, if I were to have to choose a superpower, it would probably have to be the ability to go back in time.
I wouldn’t only want it to be able to relive my first year, particularly the good parts, but also to do more things differently, such as joining more clubs, attending more of my dorm hall events, or even figuring out a stable study method earlier on. Still, I don’t really think I would have wanted this power just because, as much as I obsess about wanting to take part in “everything” and doing things much differently than I did this year, I wouldn’t have learned the many lessons I did while completing my first year.
College is as hard as you want it to be
As much as I joke, I am not lying when I say that I packed for only one semester of college. Not because I wanted to leave or because I felt like the place wasn’t for me but because I was so sure that all of the talks about how “college is so hard” would get to me and I would fail. I had always grown up around my family, who constantly supported me and thought I wouldn’t fail; I was so sure that college was where I was going to fail, and I was ready to explain to them what happened, even before I had started my first semester.
Of course, with my first semester, I had felt the anxiety of doing well in school. I knew that I wouldn’t do as well as I had in high school, and I was okay with that (not really, though). I crashed out over my final letter grade in my fine arts class. I won’t say that college isn’t hard because only taking level 1 and 2 courses has already seriously tested just how much I want to not only complete the course but also just how much I want my degree. However, I learned that college is as hard as you want it to be, and whether you put in that work or not depicts it. As hard as staying up late in the Colby basement was sometimes, I found enjoyment in being alone with my music and being able to thoroughly understand lecture concepts. Additionally, it helped boost my confidence when taking exams; it took me till my third round of exams (fall semester) to replace that feeling of absolute dread and anxiety when facing exams with a feeling of excitement.
I still get very anxious before taking an exam or even having to write papers for classes, like my Latinx lit class, but taking the time to reflect on what I was able to overcome as a first-year my fall semester, it always sort of eases that anxiety. Lastly, I don’t think people really go in-depth as to how important it is to have your dorm feel like home. As dramatic as it sounds, without my family pictures on my desk and pictures of my dog, I don’t think I would have been able to function.
Learning to do things alone/taking comfort in my solitude
I still have not been able to overcome the fear of going to the gym alone, but you can trust that I will be there next year! Aside from that, being who I am, I actually used to avoid going to places as simple as the dining hall alone. I remember that during my first week of staying in my dorm (during Frogs First), my only source of food was the BLUU. And there was just no way I was going to go by myself. After having asked my friends, who had already eaten that day, I ended up going to the dining hall by myself.
Eventually, going to places like the library and the dining hall became easy. After every math exam I made a trip to the dining hall, and if I needed to print something I’d stop by the library; I learned that no one really cares what you do, as we all have our own things going on.
It still takes me some courage to do things by myself, including going to on-campus events, such as those hosted by The Crew and The End, but all in all, I have been able to grow more comfortable in doing things alone, such as sitting out in the Commons to do homework, which is something I recently started doing.
Finding your people takes time
Entering college, I was never really worried about making friends; I thought it wouldn’t be hard, as I learned to be more social during high school, that was until I heard about rush and how it was a little hard to make friends if you didn’t rush. Living in an all-girl dorm, while it wasn’t necessarily hard talking or getting along with the girls, it was difficult to actually connect enough to be friends. I didn’t share that same connection they had with the sorority girls through their rush experience.
So, while I was doing well academically, I became more and more closed off socially. There were some people who I talked to and even exchanged numbers with, but when our class together ended, we stopped talking; so, I couldn’t really call them a friend. I’m still working on this, but little by little, I have found some people who I know I can count on and even feel comfortable enough to share my humor with, such as the girls in Her Campus and some neighbors in my hall I recently started talking to who didn’t rush.
It really does take time to find your people, but I feel hopeful that I am on the right track to finding those people.
Sleep matters
Unfortunately, I don’t listen to the warnings until I hear about them in class or if I experience the effects for myself. Something I have always struggled with is prioritizing sleep over school. Sometimes, I would make long to-do lists, which I was set on finishing whether it meant going to bed at a later time or getting little to no sleep. This was a huge thing for me during my first semester.
Towards the end of the fall semester, a little before finals, my stress and my adrenaline levels were at an absolute high, with my stress eventually leading to cramping in my body and my adrenaline keeping me awake no matter how tired I had been. Still, I drank my coffee and continued to stay up late, prioritizing my exam grades over checking in with myself; I thought sacrificing my health would be worth it.
I won’t lie, it was, but after that experience, I learned to better space out my study sessions and allow myself time blocks to eat, relax, and study. I still occasionally stay up since my classes this semester start much later, but I allow myself time to get an adequate or “functioning” amount of sleep.
Don’t let others’ experiences be my own
While all of these lessons are in no particular order, choosing my last lesson was a little tough. However, I think this one has been one of the biggest and most important lessons I have learned this semester.
In addition to doing things by myself, I have learned to not let what others have told me keep me from things such as, in my case, changing majors. While I am very anxious about what to expect, I have learned that another’s experience cannot dictate mine. Additionally, pushing myself to join more clubs by myself has also been a major help, as I have not only received helpful feedback but have also been able to surround myself with people who share similar fears.
Closing
I am grateful for everything I have learned this year and have gotten to experience, as simply being able to study what I wanted never seemed like anything short of a dream. I am grateful for all of the people I have met, and while I would want to have the power to go back in time, I like the way things were this year. I am hopeful for my next years as an undergrad student and hope that you, too, are hopeful about whatever is to come. This is a hug and goodbye to my freshman year!