I want you to stand up, close your eyes and spin around in circles until you fall. Once you fall I want you to lay there and feel the dizziness. I want you to feel a fraction of how I feel every day. Like many others out there, I have a chronic condition that nobody can seem to fix. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but imagine you’re trapped in a rollercoaster hurtling around curves all day long. Imagine sitting in class and having the world spin way too fast. Imagine falling because you are too dizzy to be balanced, and laying on the ground for thirty minutes because you are too exhausted to move.
There are so many people that we interact with who are struggling medically, and we probably don’t even notice. To most people I’m happy, healthy and my biggest problem is schoolwork. There is nothing wrong with that, but for everyone who is being affected every day by their health while away from home here’s some tips I’ve learned along the way.
1. Find your tribe.
I have been very lucky in finding a few close friends who I trust with everything. These people are my rocks even if they don’t know it. I know I can call them if I ever need anything and someone will come. So find your tribe.
2. Ask your doctor questions. Make a list and take it with you.
I have a horrible tendency to get very flustered and fluttery at doctors’ appointments. They make me uncomfortable, and I despise being poked and prodded. I want to get in and out of that office as fast as humanely possible. That’s not a good thing. I forget to ask questions. I may think I am understanding what the doctor says, but sometimes the medical mumbo jumbo confuses me to the point where I have no idea what is actually happening. The best thing I ever did was start taking lists of questions to every appointment, and writing down the answers to them.
3. Remember your condition doesn’t define you.
Being sick does not define who I am. Yes, it makes it harder some days but that condition is not me. Don’t let it define you, just learn from it and become a stronger person because of it.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I never want to ask my friends for help because I don’t want to bother them. It’s dumb, I know, but I honestly just don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I’m still working on how to ask for help, but don’t be afraid to call someone and ask them to come.
5. It is nobody’s business but your own.
You do not owe anyone an explanation about your condition or any of your medical stuff. If you want to share what’s going on with people, that is wonderful and you should. But if you don’t, that is a hundred percent fine. It is your business, and your decision what you tell people. Don’t ever think you owe someone information just because you’ve confided in them before.
6. If you fall down six times, you have to get back up seven times.
This one is funny for me because I literally fall over somedays. Whether it’s physically falling down, or mentally falling remember to get back up. Even if you have to lay on the ground for a few minutes before you do, get back up no matter what. Do what you have to do to get through because at the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you.
7. Call your parents.
Let your parents support you. If you want them at doctors’ appointments, tell them. They are your parents, they love you. Let them be there for you. They might not physically be with you since college, but pick up the phone.
8. Be happy.
It’s simple. Life is hard, and some days are horrible. You can’t control your condition, some days it knocks you down and kicks the fight out of you. Some days you want to curl up and cry. Somedays you do curl up and cry. But every day you have to get up and remember life can be pretty great so you might as well try to make the best of it.
9. It’s okay to not be okay.
It is perfectly fine to not be okay. If you’re struggling, it’s okay to say “No I am not okay.” It’s okay to not be strong 24/7. There are times when I’m not okay at all, and that is okay. Just remember that the bad days get better, and there are so many people who love you.
If you’re struggling with an illness or condition, you are not alone.