Starting college, I was not concerned about my body image or size. I was always on the thicker side in high school and felt at peace with myself. Once I started my freshman year of college, I began to develop anxiety and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) due to stress and friendships that weren’t right at the time. This is when I really began to think about how I looked. I stood in the mirror daily and analyzed every part of my body, wishing I could pull and cut away the parts I didn’t like.
I spent months doing this — hating this beautiful body that has carried me through so much and will continue to do so.
I realized I had to make a change, and that it all started mentally. Before I could help anyone I needed to help myself, even though it hurt to cut off some friendships it was necessary. You might gain or lose friends but if you find yourself better in the end, then it was worth it
My changes were slow at first, it took a lot to look in the mirror and point out features I loved instead of hated. I did my best to stay away from comparing myself to others as I had been doing daily and found things that made me feel beautiful. I found friends who helped me embrace my body and made me feel myself. Find those people! When you do it’ll change your life.
More smiles instead of frowns, happy faces in the mirror, fewer tears; better thoughts for a better life.
Surround yourself with people who won’t critique you based on what you wear, eat or like. I made the mistake of keeping these people around and not voicing how their comments made me feel. I let them run their course on my mental health by feeling ashamed of almost everything I did. Find people who will stay by your side on this self-love and betterment journey.
Fast forward a couple of months, I lost quite a bit of weight, like 60+ pounds. I received a lot of compliments and some were backhanded. I learned to cut those people out. If they are not happy to see you doing better then they will not add good experiences to your journey. Trust me its for your own good, you do not need those negative vibes surrounding you.
If you struggle with BDD, I know how hard it is to feel happy with what you see in the mirror. Even with my weight loss, I don’t see a change some days. I act like I am still the same size as before. I still struggle to love myself and I’ve been on my journey for a little over a year now. Truthfully, I haven’t found a way to get better with this, but I’m taking it day by day and have an optimistic outlook with the help of my true friends.
There are days where you will feel at the top of the world and days where you won’t want to leave your bed. These will come and go but if you find yourself having a lot of “stay in bed” days then I encourage you to seek professional help. Talking to someone other than family or friends can help tremendously. They are there to help you, not judge you or hinder you in any way. If your campus has counseling and psychological services available then schedule an appointment. If you are scared to go on your own ask a friend or instructor you trust to walk you there. I found myself walking up to things and turning around, practically running away, because I let my anxiety get the better of me. Even asking a stranger to walk with you to the services building works (I have personally done this, but pls be careful). I’m fortunate enough to attend a university where the students are always willing to lend a hand.
No matter what others might say, the comments or looks they give— YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Love yourself in every way possible. It may not be easy or happen overnight, but life gets a little easier when you do.
Keep your smile bright and those who love you close.