I thought it was a smart idea when my friend made it a goal to keep her spring semester light. She made the decision to go easier on herself because, given the current circumstances, it would alleviate potential stressors along the way. While I agreed that it was a good plan, I went into the first day thinking I could get away with my schedule.
The semester started with my schedule packed each day. I would have been taking six classes and going to club meetings for at least five clubs each week. It is feasible, but I would have had to make huge sacrifices with my health. My schedule was pretty similar in the fall semester anyway.
However, by the second day of school, I reached my last class of the day and had second thoughts. I had two others that day, so I already spent three hours on Zoom. My mental health was not as stable. For the one-and-a-half hours, I was in that third class, I was shaking. There was even a point where I was getting lightheaded while the professor was going over the syllabus. Even so, part of me was determined to continue with my schedule as it was and hoped it would get better. In fact, I purposely participated during that class in order to motivate me to stay. If I showed the entire class that I am engaged, then it would be harder to drop out of the class. If I did drop the class, people would still recognize me, and in my imagination, I probably would get many questions. It was only just the second day of classes. I could not make any judgments until I fully knew what I was getting myself into.
I had to learn that I could not compare my previous semesters with this current one. I have different classes and different professors with their own unique method of teaching. There will be classes that have much heavier workloads than others. I did not take that into consideration when I was planning my schedule. I distinctly remember asking my advisor to add on a sixth class because I saw that I had space in my schedule. Maybe I should have considered asking myself if I would be able to handle it. Because my advisor approved of my decision, I guess she trusted that I could handle it.
When I finally dropped the one class after an hour of contemplating the decision, I felt like I was letting someone down. It seemed like a fantastic class, and I am a bit bummed out that I could not be in this semester. As I was telling my friends about my decision, they all agreed that it was for the best. It is the third week of classes, and I see why. My schedule this semester could not even compare to last semester’s content. I was giving myself more challenges this semester and trying to push my limit. Nevertheless, there are moments when I need to take a step back because I need to find a moment in my day for my own time.
Sometimes, you might want to talk to yourself the way you talk to your friends. In my friend group, I am telling my friends to not push themselves too much. So why am I not listening to my own advice?
What is best for you? It can appear in many shapes and forms. But ultimately, even if it is a hard decision, it is an important one. It is okay to drop a class for your own needs. Even though I dropped a class, I still have five courses in my schedule. Not only that, but the online environment is not always the easiest for me to feel actively engaged in my classes. As my friends had to tell me, people do drop classes all the time. It is not something to be ashamed about because if you are doing what is best for you, you should do it. I really admire people who are honest about their limits and say “No,” if they need to take time for themselves. I am learning to take care of myself more these days because I cannot give my best efforts if I am not feeling okay.