When I was younger, I was an outgoing child. I used to love running up to people and introducing myself. As I got older though, I became more and more shy. While I loved hanging out with friends, who I could be myself around, I found it hard to open up and talk to new people. There isn’t any particular reason why- it’s just what I find comfortable. But something that did make me anxious was coming to college. When your classes are in huge lecture halls (Javits 100, anyone?), it can be hard to make friends. Factor in the fact that many of us are commuters who come for class and leave right after, it can be tough to have that “college experience” as an introvert. However, it isn’t all bad. Here are some ways to find your place at Stony Brook as an introvert:
1) Join some clubs!
This one is kind of the more obvious way to get out of your comfort zone at Stony Brook. There’s so many clubs here, and there’s truly anything for anyone. You can always check out the involvement fair at the beginning of the semester, or look up our clubs at the SB Engaged page. You never know, you could find a BFF at one of them.
2) Say “hi”
Before class starts, turn to your neighbor and say a simple “hey”! It’s scary to reach out, but an easy way to talk to people is to compliment something about them, and then ask about their major, year, hobbies… and there you have it! Don’t worry if they’re not receptive to you, just try again with someone else. That’s how I met my first college BFF, and we still laugh about how we met!
3) Go to college events
Stony Brook is good about having loads of free events for students. There’s something almost every Wednesday during Campus Lifetime, as well as fun events during the week. Every Sunday, make sure to check out the email that Stony Brook sends out with what’s going on this week. While there, try to talk to people! There’s a lot of people who go to events solo and are open to talking to you!
4) Volunteer
At Stony Brook, we’re all lucky enough to have amazing opportunities to volunteer for different causes. Whether it’s at the hospital, at local charities or for politics, you can always reach out to your fellow volunteers and start convos that turn into friendship. You already know you have some things in common!
5) Study Groups
Let’s face it, Stony Brook is super hard. Us Seawolves take some tough classes, and sometimes we need to reach out to our classmates to make time to study. Reach out to the students sitting around you, or link up with the ones in your recitation. Odds are, they want to be in a study group, too. After a study session, invite them to grab some Starbucks with you. You’ll get great study notes AND some friends out of it!
College is commonly depicted in movies and books as the best four years of your life. While it oftentimes is, it can be hard as introvert to reach out and start making the relationships that make it worthwhile. While the tips are a good step, don’t be afraid to take things at your own pace! At the end of day, what is most important is that you feel comfortable and happy!