We’ve all been there, head over heels for a guy we just met and making plans in our heads about our possible future with them. We get this warmth and bundle of nerves that arise each time we see them.You can’t help but stare at them and think, wow.
Crushes are something that come and go, but when your dealing with getting over them, its rough. You have to remind yourself that there will be more guys to come and that there are so many people in this world that you’re bound to find someone. Despite all of this, it’s still hard getting over them and in this article I wanted to talk about how it’s okay to feel this way and mourn a relationship that never happened. You’re friends may call you melodramatic, but that’s not true. We all deal with things in our own ways.
Recently after this crush I’ve had and have been getting over, I’ve noticed a pattern about myself; I always tend to go for the guys that aren’t all that talkative and I’m not sure why. Maybe, it’s because I like the mystery and aura behind it and just find shy guys cute. I don’t know but I’ve found myself analyzing it and speaking about it with a few close friends. Many of them have said it’s not my fault, it probably has to do with my like for solving things and always wanting to see people smile and come out of their shells. It led us into this deeper conversation about relationships and how they’re such a big process when you think about it.
What we came up with are these three stages, you always hear about. One: the just talking phase where there’s some fun flirtation occurring between the two of you, but your not dating. Each of your friend groups know what’s going on and are just waiting for the announcement that your official. This leads me to phase two, where you’re now dating and wanting to make it official with calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, which is the last stage. Phases one and two are the most complicated, because one person may think, yeah, this persons totally into me and the other person may not be at all. Communication is key in these first two stages and it often goes neglected. My friends and I all came to the conclusion that making a relationship happen in college is so much work and it often requires effort from both sides that neither can give or is bad at giving. In college we’re all so busy and it’s one of the many reasons why hookup culture is so relevant unless the person really likes you, they will make time.
After this conversation it reminded me about the guy I was into, I came to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen. I had put in my effort and the ball was in his court. I remember making excuses for him, like oh he’s shy and it’d be hard for him. But no that is not true. If he really wanted to see me or liked me back, he would’ve made time and I didn’t deserve that. No one does. Everybody deserves to be somebody’s first choice, not last.