In the lyrics of Gracie Abrams, “This is what it feels like…” to be surrounded by female friendships in your early twenties when you are trying to figure out who you are and what you want. In a world that often emphasizes romantic relationships as the ultimate form of connection, the friendships built in your early twenties prove that love comes in many forms. Connections are built on shared experiences, vulnerability, and an unspoken understanding that, no matter what, you are not alone; it is a common theme discussed in Everything I Know about Love by Dolly Alderton. Media celebrates female friendships, but sometimes we need to search a bit harder for it.Â
Much of Abrams’ music explores themes of personal growth and female connection. Her music resonates with the emotions that often define female friendships through lyrics that capture the feeling of being understood through late-night drives with the windows down, knowing glances across a crowded room, and text messages that say, Are you okay? without needing further explanation. Gracie Abrams’ recent album, The Secret of Us, is a love letter to girlhood and the complexities that it comes with. She reminds us that the friendships we form as young women are meaningful; they are the ones who teach us how to love, how to listen, and how to be there for one another.
In a culture that sometimes undervalues platonic relationships in favor of romantic ones, it is important to recognize the depth and significance of these friendships. Alderton captures the messy, beautiful, and deeply significant role female friendships play in shaping our lives. While romantic relationships are present, the friendships built in the “transformative decade” often serve as a constant, providing comfort when the future feels uncertain. Her friends were there to celebrate small victories, listen to late-night rants, and hold a hand through heartbreaks and career crises.Â
The book won a National Book Award for Autobiography of the Year, as Alderton shares the events that shaped her second decade of life. The memoir suggests that friendships formed in our twenties are often the greatest love stories of our lives! They teach us about patience, loyalty, and the kind of love that doesn’t demand loud declarations. The love between friends lives in the everyday conversations—the check-ins, inside jokes, and walks with no destination.Â
In a world that often prioritizes romantic love, Gracie Abrams and Dolly Alderton remind us of the importance of maintaining our female friendships. Many forms of media (music and memoirs in my instances) capture the essence of girlhood – the small but significant gestures and bonds that influence who we become. These friendships are more than just a phase of life; they are the relationships that teach us how to love and be loved. Whether through Abrams’ heartfelt lyrics or Alderton’s reflective storytelling, one thing remains clear: the friendships we build in our twenties are some of the most meaningful love stories we will ever know. Remember to show and tell your friends how much you appreciate them (especially with Galentine’s Day approaching).