The New Golden Rule

We are taught from a very young age to “treat others how you want to be treated.” Which is a very important mantra to live by, don’t get me wrong! But, how about the way we treat ourselves?

What if we started treating ourselves how we treat others? We’re always quick to help out a friend and will drop anything to lend a hand, but let our own needs fall to the wayside. We give them the best advice in the world, but we never take it to heart when considering our own feelings or situation. We preach self-love to our loved ones, always reminding them of their worth and their beauty, yet stand in front of the mirror tearing ourselves to pieces.

These are internal battles I face on a daily basis because I tend to prioritize other people and my responsibilities over my own self care. I give advice that I genuinely mean, but do not apply to myself. I am always hyping up my friends, but have never taken the time to congratulate my own accomplishments. I realized this recently and want to turn things around. Because you truly cannot give your best self to others or to your work if you do not first treat yourself with kindness. So I’m here today to get all preachy and remind you that you matter and deserve the time, attention, and dedication that you give to others.

Here are a few things you can do from time to time to catch up with yourself and celebrate how awesome you are. 

(If you thought that sentence sounded conceited ~ let’s get to work … self care is not selfish)

 

Schedule Me Time

Duh, but … hear me out! Me-time is so important. Balancing all of your responsibilities throughout the day can get overwhelming and it’s easy to let those things take precedence. But, I assure you that if you make self-care a priority in your daily routine to some degree, all of those tasks will go more smoothly and you will feel more level-headed and ambitious. 

When most people think of me-time they assume you have to sit in the bath with a face mask on, diffuse essential oils, or meditate. If that’s your thing - go for it! However, you can use that time to do literally anything that brings you joy. For me, my self-care time is spent going for a walk to get some fresh air, clear my mind, and take some photos. Going to the gym is another great option or things like singing in the car with your favorite music blasting, cooking a meal, styling a new outfit, etc.

Compliment Yourself

I challenge you to compliment yourself each time you compliment someone else. I, for one, toss around genuine compliments like they’re going out of style. I love to hype up my friends and even people I don’t know. My mindset is that if kind thoughts about someone pop into my head, it’s not doing me any good to keep that to myself! So, a great way to treat yourself how you treat others is to show love to yourself as much as you spread love to others.

This may be a huge challenge, I feel silly when I do it. But, over time that positive reinforcement will make its impact! Just say something positive about yourself in your head, doesn’t have to be elaborate. But, just remind yourself that you are equally as worthy of praise as those you’re giving it to. Usually, they’ll compliment back or thank you for your kindness, but the strongest impact words have on us are the ones we say to ourselves.

Make Two Lists

When it comes to organizing my life, I like to keep it simple. I fail at journaling, my agenda is a mess, and I lose everything if it’s not on my phone. So, something that is attainable for me and has helped me feel more balanced is keeping two separate lists taped above my desk. One with things I’ve accomplished and one with my future goals. I’ll check things off as I progress, moving them to the ‘done’ column. It seems elementary, but visualizing your achievements is a huge motivator. It really grounds me and reminds me that I actually have done a lot of good things which acts as incentive to tackle the rest moving forward. 

 

Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health

Talk to a counselor if you’re experiencing mental strain. Eat three nutritious meals a day. Take your medication if it is prescribed to you. Get your body moving and hydrate well. 

These are all super simple things we should do to maintain or improve our mental and physical condition. When things get hectic for me, these two things fall at the bottom of the totem poll. I neglect this far too frequently, though it is the foundation of my productivity in the first place. Seems counter-intuitive, and it is, but I’m making it a goal to prioritize my body and mind. You should too!

Know and Be Confident in Who You Are

Of course you know yourself, you are you, but do you know yourself? It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s lives because of the social media revolving world we’re living in, which also makes it possible to fall victim to comparison and ultimately impersonation. It’s important to stay on top of yourself and reinforce your core values, beliefs, passions, and presentation. Talk with yourself. No, seriously! Talk things out and figure out the type of person you want to be. Talk about what you’ve fought for and why that is important to you, set boundaries for yourself, reinvigorate an old passion, and think about where today’s actions will lead you in the future.

Establishing that solid relationship with yourself will make life a breeze. It won’t happen over night and it will change as your life progresses, so as it does … keep yourself in check. Confidence will come with time and you’ll continually learn new things about your abilities and know how to handle curve-balls that may alter those core beliefs.

I’m human and also have been extremely self conscious my whole life, so all of these things are a work in progress -- I wrote this to help us both out. Don’t let this list intimidate you … take it step by step and at whatever pace works for you. There are always going to be good days and bad days when it comes to your confidence, but make it a goal to see yourself from a different perspective. Empathize with yourself how you would with someone else in the same situation. 

 

You’re strong, beautiful, intelligent, and capable. But, you don’t need me to tell you that. Believe it for yourself! You’re pretty awesome, so give yourself credit.

 

Treat Yourself How You Treat Others and HCXO,

Ashley