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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Sonoma chapter.

(Illustration By: Allison Stewart)

A lot of people can remember their experiences with journaling, whether it was consistent throughout their entire time being able to write or if it was a second grade phase where they wrote the juicy gossip of their second grade class. I’m no stranger to journaling (or embarrassing second grade journaling), but there’s something more to writing as a form of self-care than just childhood frustrations.

Recently, I’ve been feeling very adult-like, getting excited when my credit score goes up & thinking about after-college plans, etc. For me, I’ve lost a little bit of the excitement and relief that comes with journaling but I’ve finally been reminded of the solace it brings me. A few weeks ago, I performed an original piece for Sonoma State’s production of the Vagina Monologues. I entitled my piece “Shut Up & Listen” and basically word vomited every repressed feeling I’d had directed at my body in the past three years. For the first time, I wrote something so deeply personal that was about me alone. It was empowering, terrifying, and triggering to recite in front over 1,000 people, but it has given me a liberated perspective of myself and what my purpose is. The joy and relief I felt after sharing it, publicly, for hundreds of people to see and hear and soak in was worth it all. Without writing, I never would’ve achieved that.

I’d never thought of writing as self-care before college. I’d been journaling all of my life, writing poems for fun, and attempting to start (and never finish) fictional stories, but it never seemed like it was important in a de-stressing kind of way. Although, I remember very vividly being young and writing things I wished would happen in my life, giving myself clothes, objects, body types, friends that I was lacking. I could write my own destiny and hide in my daydreams.

Now, I want to write my reality. Putting feelings into words has never been something I struggle with, so why don’t I do it more often? I read You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life over the winter break and it provided me a new outlook that I want to translate through writing: I am capable of great things simply by being my authentic self and asking for them. It’s hard to implement change in our lives, but writing has helped me with that. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is move over 500 miles away from my family, my friends, and my dog (most importantly) to come to college. It took me two years to get comfortable at Sonoma State, to find friends and a community I enjoyed. Writing helped me get through the discomfort. Even if it wasn’t perfect or eloquent or beautiful, it was authentic.

 

Related Articles: How The Vagina Monologues Changed My Life, Love Trumps Hate: A Poem, My Struggle With Body Positivity

Kylie Walker is a senior at Sonoma State University studying creative writing & women's and gender studies. She balances school with napping as much as she posssibly can. She enjoys petting animals and radical feminist theory. She sometimes writes about things other than politics or feminism, but rarely.
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